Again
by MustacheYouAQuestion
Summary: Three years is a long time apart, and Lucy and Ian didn't have plans to find their way back to each other. But there is something left in the cataclysm's rubble- something special, something precious that just might lead them together again. Lucian.
1. Chapter 1 : Catalyst

**Disclaimer: No I'm not affiliated with Lucy or Ian. Duh.**

**This is a Lucian story. If you don't like the pairing please refrain from reading.**

_Chapter 1_

_The Things We Lost In The Fire_

Ian Harding adjusted his sunglasses for the thousandth time as he walked into a coffee shop one chilly November morning. Paranoia was an understatement. He was already running late, and the chance of being recognized by a swoop of teenage girls wouldn't exact help him. He did understand that sunglasses in November looked a little ridiculous, but considering that he had to be to work in ten minutes, they were his only option for a disguise.

New York City wasn't where he figured to find himself at 32 years old. He was an actor, a lucky actor, whose career had all but grown wings and flown after the conclusion of Pretty Little Liars. The end of the show, though saddening and bittersweet, had opened up so many doors for him that it was almost hard to believe. He'd landed his first starring role in a film- a blockbuster, actually. One thing led to another and Ian found himself a very highly requested actor- perhaps one of the most in Hollywood right now.

The coffee shop smelled like cupcakes and cinnamon; a welcoming smell at 8 a.m. Ian lined up behind a skinny blonde woman, who was busily tapping at her iPhone. He thought about his order and decided on the blueberry crumble muffin to pair with his latte, and then pulled his debit card from his pants pocket in preparation to order, glancing at his watch in the process. He tapped his foot nervously, feeling anxious about how late he was going to be. Ian hated being late to anything- but he couldn't function without breakfast first. He was caught between a rock and a rock.

Although the physical strings to PLL had been long cut, there were heartstrings that made him yearn for those days again. He missed the days that he barely had a million twitter followers; the days where the only people who recognized him in public were the devoted fans of the show. He missed the days when he wasn't busy all the time, and most importantly, he missed the days his beloved Lucy Hale worked alongside him.

Three years had gone by since he'd seen her last.

He couldn't say that ultimately he still wasn't over their separation. The three years had yes, come with the inevitable heartbreak that came with letting her go, but the years had also allowed him to grow. Forcing himself to focus on something besides Lucy had allowed him to focus on his career, his interests and his future. He realized that he couldn't rotate his world around one relationship, and as the months passed, things improved. Wounds healed. He moved on- well, sort of.

As he stepped up to order, his eyes caught the display case one last time to finalize his decision. His eyes landed on a cronut, and he sighed, heart swelling, appetite fading. On second thought, he only wanted the latte.

It was still the little things that were what got to him. Even though he knew he had to be over her, he missed said little details- the way her tiny hand used to fit in his, the way she felt the need to Instagram candids of him in embarrassing situations. He missed her caffeine dependency and he missed her short lived cronut obsession. As hard as he tried to convince himself elsewise, there were days when he just missed Lucy.

Things were okay for him now, even if he didn't want to admit that. Sure, he knew deep down that she still would always have a hold on his heart, but he liked to think he was healed. That he wasn't broken like he expected himself to be. Sometimes he convinced himself that splitting with Lucy Hale had been the best decision of his life. But that thought only came when a personal pep talk was ongoing.

Ian's New York move had been unexpected. When the opportunity for the role in his new movie had arisen, Ian decided that moving to NY for the filming process would be the best bet. Living in New York had also been a dream of his for a while; after Pretty Little Liars had ended, he had been a little desperate to get out of LA. He'd found himself a nice, humble apartment in the city, and was anticipating his new life there. Ian had moved in three days ago.

The barista handed Ian his latte, and he thanked her curtly. After paying, he glanced at his watch and turned to make a hasty exit. As he sped towards the door, his sunglasses suddenly slid down his nose and created a blind spot in his vision. Just as he got through the door, he felt his body slam into someone.

"Jesus, I'm sorry." Ian said, shoving his glasses back into place as he backed up. His latte had fallen to the ground and sloshed all over the sidewalk. _So much for breakfast._

"No, it's my fault." Said the person, and Ian looked up to find it was a woman. She had curly red hair and bright green eyes. "Here, let me buy you another coffee." She reached into her pocket, and Ian instantaneously made a move to wave away the money.

"It's really okay," Ian smiled, bending to scoop up the empty cup from the ground. A second voice greeted his ears, and as he stood back up he found someone else beside the woman he'd bumped into.

"Hey Gina! I guess we're going in the same direction-" The new person said cheerfully, obviously meeting the red headed woman by coincidence. It seemed like a ridiculously impossible strike of fate, (one that Ian had a hard time believing), but as he turned his head towards the two woman his heart went up into his throat.

_It couldn't be._

The second woman froze, meeting Ian's sunglass covered eyes. There was a dumbstruck expression on her face, and she broke eye contact almost instantly as if she were shy or afraid of him. Few people knew his face well enough to know it with sunglasses on.

"_Lucy_?" Ian asked, voice more of a gasp than a word.

The first woman, Gina, took the tension as a cue to leave and said a prompt goodbye, then hurried off into the coffee shop. Ian and Lucy stood there, both too shocked and too uncomfortable to say anything. Ian decided to break the silence; this coincidence was far too large to ignore.

"It's been a while." He said softly, eyes absorbing her face for the first time in three years. He cheeks were rosy from the cold and her eyes weren't lined in black pencil as he remembered them to be. She only wore a light smear of pink lipstick and a touch of mascara, but still her natural beauty made her the loveliest thing the eyes could see.

Lucy nodded her head once, scratching at the back of her neck awkwardly. "A while indeed."

"What're you doing here in New York?" Ian saw the hesitation and doubt in her eyes as he continued to speak to her; he wondered if she'd moved on at all in three years. Seeing her here now was completely surreal- he hadn't even willed himself to look at a photograph after their split. He'd felt too guilty and it hurt too much. She really felt like pinching his arm- was he really speaking to her? How could this be?

Lucy sighed and pursed her lips in thought. "I live here now."

Ian smiled sadly. "Me too."

"Really?"

"I just moved into that building." He turned and pointed towards the luxury apartment building across the street. "It's for a movie. I'm not sure if this arrangement is going to be permanent, but," He tapped his teeth together.

Meanwhile, Lucy was staring at him with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen. It literally felt like someone was sitting on his chest to see that longing in her expression. All the emotions he'd blocked out for so long were on the verge of coming back in a flash flood all at once. Ian suddenly missed her so much it was crazy.

"Ian, I really have to go-" Lucy began, pulling her phone from her pocket to check the time. Ian had forgotten all about how late he was.

"Then can I take you out? So we can catch up?" It was impulsive to ask her such a thing, but he hadn't been able to stop himself. He missed her so much and he wanted to get to know how she was doing. Maybe he didn't deserve it after the way things had ended between them, but maybe they could potentially get to know each other as friends again. Or even at least just acquaintances that didn't treat each other like strangers.

"I don't think that's a good idea," She began, and Ian let out a soft sigh. Of course she wouldn't say yes- they were ex-girlfriend and boyfriend now. She probably was dating someone else, and it who ever wanted to go to dinner with their ex? That was awkward. But nevertheless, Ian wasn't going to let the opportunity slip that easily.

"Please?" His voice was gentle. "It won't mean anything. We spent a solid five years together, Luce-" Ian's eyes widened as he realized he'd accidentally used one of her old nicknames. It was just out of habit- it felt natural to call her by her nickname. "And it seems like the right thing to do."

Lucy bit her lip. Her eyes found the concrete sidewalk, and then his eyes again. Letting out a soft breath, she muttered a word Ian thought he'd never hear her say. "Alright."

Ian found himself lost in her eyes then, a smile stretching over his lips. A twisting sensation began in his stomach as he grew giddy. But then Ian's own fear of being too pushy took over, and the short swell of confidence he had not moments ago boiled over and dissipated. He looked at her nervously, then added quickly, "I mean, only if you want to. I shouldn't have made you feel obligated like that-"

"Ian, it's fine." Lucy interrupted him, flashing a small smile. He noticed then that her hair, which was pulled back into a loose ponytail was a slightly reddish colour. He liked it.

"Okay," Ian pulled out his phone. "We could swap numbers..?"

Lucy reached into her pocket and fished out her iPhone, but then noticeably flinched and dropped it back into her pocket. She'd noticeably tensed and it looked as if she hadn't wanted him to see her phone.

"Here- I'll just text myself," She took Ian's cell and went to work tapping on it. "My phone's been acting weird lately. Got to go get it looked at." She handed him back his phone. "I'll just save you the trouble."

Lucy forced a chuckle and shifted her feet, which were covered in a pair of leather boots. "So, are you headed to work?" She tried to converse, rather awkwardly, Ian noticed.

Ian jumped all of a sudden, realizing that now he was ridiculously late for work. His heart started pounding.

"Um, yeah. Speaking of, I have to be there-" He glanced at his watch. "Now."

"Okay," Lucy said, biting her top lip. It was a habit for when she got nervous or disappointed. Ian remembered it sadly. She always did it when they were going to be apart, years ago. He suddenly had to fight the urge to hug her. "I guess I'll see you..?"

"Tonight?" Ian suggested.

Lucy's face fell slightly. "I can't tonight. Tomorrow?"

Ian nodded eagerly. "We could go to dinner?"

Lucy smiled. "I'd like that. It was nice seeing you, Ian."

"It's been-" Ian pursed his lips, debating on whether or not to mutter the next few words. "Too long."

Lucy looked at him sadly. Her hazel eyes looked tired, and Ian for the first time noticed the bags underneath them. "Yeah." She licked her lips. "It's been much too long."

They shared a brief goodbye before they went on their separate ways, Ian shoving his hands into his pockets. By then, his mind was lost in the messy thoughts he'd been bottling up for so long.

Pretty Little Liars had ended off with a bang in both Rosewood and LA. Ezra had proposed to Aria. Toby died, for real. It turned out that Emily, the weakest link had been on the A Team all along and to no one's shock, Ali hadn't died. The actors, on the other hand, had gone their separate ways as well, but the group still stayed in touch.

Lucy and Ian had officially announced their relationship by the start of the fifth season. They were rooted on by thousands of teenage girls, and Ian seriously thought that maybe he had a shot at spending forever with her. Ian Harding loved Lucy Hale with everything inside of him. He couldn't put it into any other words than that. He'd just really, really loved her, plain and simple. And that's what made leaving her so hard, especially after the fight they'd had before they split.

As well as the final seasons of PLL, Lucy had also released her first album. Her music career took off, and almost overnight, all her dreams came true. It was when the show ended though that had sent their relationship downhill.

She began touring- and with Ian's busy schedule and her busy schedule, the pair were barely ever together. The days they did spend together were sacred; almost unbelievably wonderful. No matter how worth it it seemed when they actually were together, the space was unbelievably hard on both Lucy and Ian. It felt like they were slipping more and more away each day they spent apart, and it began to take a toll on their relationship.

The final straw had been the day Lucy was offered a second record deal. It was her dream to keep doing this; making music and sharing it with the world. Ian pushed her so hard to sign the contract- to go after her dreams, but Lucy had been persistent on giving it up. She was literally willing to put her career _and_ her dream on hold to keep their relationship. And Ian knew in his heart that, despite her protests, to let her do that was nothing but selfish.

A fight broke out that night between them; one that was ironically about trying to keep the relationship the dispute was about. One thing lead to another, and as midnight rolled around, whatever love they had for each other had disappeared. Lucy called him everything foul her vocabulary had to offer- why, there really wasn't a reason, and he yelled so much his voice finally gave out. The fight had been a little one-sided on the cruelty level. (Even as angry as he was he never would have had the nerve to call her anything rude.)

By the end of the night, they weren't even sure why they were so angry, but Ian had been so caught up in the moment that he'd told her point blank they were finished. He packed his bags at three in the morning and just left- neither had even said goodbye.

The only thing that kept him from going back the following day was that fact that if he did, there was no way she'd ever sign a second record deal.

That was the last time he'd spoken to her, and the last time he'd seen her. He didn't allow himself to acknowledge anything she did. He refused to look at photos, read articles about her- the whole nine yards. It was too painful and he couldn't bear it to see her with any other man, even though he'd told her during their fight she could find someone else to yell at. Ian hadn't even allowed himself to see if she'd released another album; something that now, he was deeply ashamed of.

Three years had gone by, in which Ian had let himself peel Lucy Hale out of his life in every way. He had blocked her out so ferociously that even the memories deluded themselves into images he couldn't tell existed. But if meeting her on the sidewalk in New York City was a twist of fate that had to hold more meaning than just coincidence. Perhaps, even after the fight and the three lonely years, there was still something there. Something holding them together. Maybe there was a chance that they really hadn't lost each other after all. Tomorrow night would give these answers, and tomorrow night could potentially patch up the things they'd lost in the fire.

But little did Ian Harding know how much tomorrow night would change his life.

**So there it is folks, chapter 1. I hope you liked it! I can't wait for this story to unfold, and I hope you're ready for a ride. I'll update soon, depending on response, and the next chapter is full of angst, let me tell you that. But I promise it will all be worth it. Just hang on tight! This story is dedicated to Kate, Emmalee, and Courtney. Love you!**

**I'm HaleStorms26 on twitter, and I'll tweet about updates and stuff there, so don't be afraid to talk to me! **

**Please review! Reviews make me write! **


	2. Chapter 2 : Iridescent

_Chapter 2_

_The cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now._

There was once a time when Ian Harding and Lucy Hale were the happiest couple on earth.

The atmosphere around the two could be just so naturally happy- both just satisfied with the other's company. There wasn't pressure to look their best, there weren't awkward silences. They were just Ian and Lucy spending much-deserved time together.

When the were together, however, dinner dates were rare. They normally went the same way; Ian trying to be romantic by ordering for her, only of course to mess up her order. In compensation he'd stick a piece of spinach in his teeth and smile at her, trying desperately to make her laugh. And finally, a very embarrassing photo of Ian with spinach in his teeth would become the twitter icons of hundreds of little girls. So date nights were usually outside-the-box events.

Ian took a seat in the booth that the waiter had escorted him to, then pulled his phone from his pocket. He'd selected a small, hole in the wall restaurant for he and Lucy, trying quite hard to stay under the radar. The small Italian restaurant had a strict no cameras policy, and seated very few people at a time. It was a small but cute environment where celebrities like Ian and Lucy could eat their meal in peace. The last thing he wanted was a vortex of rumors surrounding them after tonight. Like he had told her yesterday, this date didn't have to mean anything.

Glancing at his reflection in the glass of his phone screen, Ian sighed, giving up on trying to make is unruly brown curls presentable. Once, it hadn't mattered what his hair looked like, because he knew that she loved it either way.

Remembering these times was bittersweet. Tonight he felt the need to impress her, to look good as her date. And as weird as that felt, he decided it was mandatory.

Ian unlocked the iPhone, pleased to see there was a new message from Lucy.

Be there in five, got tied up at home.

Ian couldn't help but smile, feeling overall excited about seeing her again. The past day and a half had been torturous; the anticipation for the date enough to drive him insane. Ian had gone out of his way to prepare- buying a high-end bottle of hair gel and everything.

Ian had also taken the opportunity to google search the name "Lucy Hale" for the first time in years.

He was surprised at how little he'd found. It appeared to him that she'd almost gone on break from her entire career since they'd split. There hadn't ever been a second album. There had been very few appearances on television and she hadn't starred in any other movies. With the exception of a few acoustic performances, and the fact that she'd guest starred in only two TV shows, it had seemed like Lucy Hale had given up her entire career. Ian wondered why; why she had seemingly disappeared at the height of her career. Publicity? No, it couldn't have been. His best guess was that it had something to do with family issues, and she was only taking a break.

As he pondered in thought, gazing at the drinks menu, Ian hadn't noticed that Lucy was now standing beside the table, watching him. His head snapped up and he smiled, greeting her by standing up and giving her an awkward, one-armed hug. She smiled, baring her still snow-white teeth.

Her reddish-brown hair was grown out to the small of her back, and was sitting now in a set of loose waves. Her makeup was still simple, except for a coat of red lipstick. Ian's eyes took in her cap-sleeved purple dress, which clung to her little body perfectly. He gulped. She looked stunning.

"Hi," Ian said, smiling at her brightly as she sat across from him. She sat her purse next to her on the seat.

"Hi," She answered happily.

"How was your day?" Ian asked, deciding small talk was the best place to start. He fiddled with his fingers. Why was it he had suddenly forgotten how to talk to her?

"Busy," She tilted her head, gazing off. "I'm actually working on another album." Her voice was soft; she was humble about the ordeal, even after the booming success of her debut country album. Her endless modesty was something Ian found truly remarkable.

Ian's face brightened. "You are? That's fantastic, Lucy."

"Thank you." A light blush developed on her cheeks. "I'm really excited to finally get back out there."

"Me too! I knew you could do it,"

"And look at you, Mr. Brad Pitt." She beamed, tapping his shoulder from across the table.

This time Ian blushed. It felt weird but right, flirting with her like this. They had been together- long past the flirting stage. But his chest was fluttering, and he realized that he missed her. That he had missed her these full three years, despite his reluctance to admit it. This felt like the day they'd met on set for the first time for their chemistry test; she'd been all giggles and smiles and he'd been nothing but a flirty little boy. Maybe this was their chance to start over, but maybe, Ian was being a little too hopeful.

Their talk progressed happily, both eager to catch up with the other. They talked about everything, where their careers were headed, their newfound interests, what they'd been up to for the last three years.

Only Lucy had been very vague.

Ian couldn't help but notice her lack of detail whenever she described her life now. It was always little things like, "alright" or just "busy", and when he'd ask her a question, she'd think for too long as if she were mapping out how to answer it. The more they talked, the more vague she became, and the more disheartened Ian felt. Did she not want to tell him the whole truth about things? He decided finally, after they were halfway finished their steaks to stop dipping his toes in the pool, and just ask her what he'd been wondering since they met in the street.

"So, are you seeing anyone?" Ian said nervously, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. He kept his gaze on his food, too nervous to look at her.

Again, it took a moment for her to answer. "No, I'm not."

Ian felt his heart fizzle with a spark of hope, and he cleared his throat. "That's surprising."

Lucy knit her perfect eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Who wouldn't want to date you?"

Lucy looked away shyly, the blush once again returning to her face. She didn't respond, and Ian realized that he had just made the date seriously awkward. He knew that there were consequences to this cannonball into the deep end, but he figured with nothing else to lose it was just as well to go ahead and do it.

"Look, Lucy, I know that things are different now. And I know we had a- rough ending. But if we're going to be honest, I would take it all back if I could." Ian looked at her straight in the eyes, trying to convey his honesty through his words.

Lucy's eyes glazed over, and she gulped. Ian felt his heart squeeze.

"Ian," She slowly began to shake her head. "I'm sorry- we can't. I shouldn't have agreed to this tonight." She took the handle of her purse into her hand, beginning to dig through it. Ian watched her, completely frozen. He was too shocked to respond.

She laid thirty dollars on the table to cover her meal and stood, looking at him the whole time. "I just can't do this now. I'm really sorry."

She stood up and went to climb out of the booth. Her lack of attention to what was going on, resulted in her not seeing the waiter approach, and just as she turned to leave she bumped into him.

Her purse fell to the ground, its miscellaneous contents going everywhere. Ian slid out of the booth to help her gather them, hoping that he could find one last chance to reason with her.

"Ian, that's fine." Lucy waved him off, after apologizing to the waiter and crouching down together her things. When Ian didn't listen, she slightly raised her voice. "Ian, that's fine!"

But Ian had already frozen, kneeling on the ground. There was an object resting in his fingers, and he was just staring at it, completely in shock. Lucy swallowed, looking slightly stomach sick, and Ian looked up at her with his brow furrowed.

In his hand was a little pink pacifier.

Ian looked up at Lucy brokenly, feeling more sad than he ever had in his entire life. He closed his hand around the little pink soother, before murmuring weakly, "You have a child?"

He was a fool to not have realized it before. She had surely moved on, they'd been apart three years. She was probably married by now. How could he have been so naive?

He looked up at Lucy, expecting her to uncomfortably avoiding his eyes. But as his gaze met hers, he saw the tears welling up in her eyes and the guilty look that was all but plastered on her beautiful face. Ian gasped silently, looking down at the object in his hand. He realized that it wasn't an infant's pacifier, but too big for that. It was for a toddler.

Ian's head shot up and he gasped, feeling his stomach churn as all the pieces began to fall together. Three years minus nine months- it equalled a two and a half year old baby.

Lucy's lip wavered as she stood, then she muttered softly, "This isn't how I wanted you to find out."

An exhausted wheeze escaped Ian's chest, and he stood up, expressionless. "What are you implying- when you say 'find out'" He asked dizzily. He felt like he was going to faint.

"Please, Ian. Let me explain." Lucy pleaded, a tear running down her cheek. Ian stuck his hand out and balanced himself against the table. He suddenly had to fight the urge to vomit.

Lucy grabbed his hand, trying to lull him out of his state of shock. "Ian, let's get out of here-"

"We're going to my apartment, right now, and you are going to tell me exactly what's going on here." Ian ordered, a ferocity in his voice Lucy didn't recognize.

Ian threw an additional fifty dollars on the table and then stormed towards the exit, Lucy struggling to keep up with his angry pace. They climbed into his Volvo wordlessly, Lucy completely in accord with the fact that she had no place to argue. She had taken a taxi to the restaurant luckily, thankfully. The car ride to Ian's apartment was completely silent, the only sounds were his chattering teeth and Lucy's ragged breathing as he drove.

They pulled into a parking spot, and Ian stopped the car. He wiped his eyes and turned to look at her, not recognizing the woman who could do this; the woman who could keep from him such a huge bombshell. Ian didn't even believe what was happening. He wasn't even sure what she would tell him once they reached the apartment. All he knew was that there was a pacifier in her purse for a baby that could possibly be his.

Lucy followed them through his building until they finally reached his apartment. She didn't bother to take in the unfinished decor or the brand-new leather furniture. Her mind was elsewhere, and she was scared.

They walked into the dimly lit living room, and Ian collapsed on his couch. Lucy sat in the chair adjacent to Ian, knotting her fingers together.

"Are you trying to tell me that I have a child?" Ian mumbled weakly, still sick to his stomach. "A child you never bothered to tell me about?" His face was ghastly pale.

"Ian-" She bit down on her lip. "I couldn't tell you about her."

Her response was confirmation.

"Are you serious?" He demanded, standing up again and balling up his fists. He was shaking, tears burning in his eyes. Ian wasn't sure if he'd ever felt this angry. This hurt. It was eating him alive from the inside out and what made it worse was that he had no one to blame. No one he wanted to blame. "You kept this from me for three fucking years, Lucy!" A broken gasp escaped his lungs and he collapsed onto his sofa for the second time that night, hands stiffly bracing his knees. "I have a child. And I found her pacifier before I found out about her."

Ian felt like Ezra Fitz, a character he thought he was finished with. There was a horrible knot in his stomach, and he felt very, very nauseous. His life had suddenly spun into a tornado of things he wasn't even familiar with. The walls of normality had fallen- everything felt surreal. He was dreaming. He was delusional. He didn't have a child- he couldn't! The cataclysm was raining down and he didn't have any protective from the fallout.

"I have a little girl, am I right?" He sobbed once. "A little girl- a precious little baby girl and I don't even know her name. You let me miss the first two and a half years of her life." Ian's eyes streamed with hot tears. "She said her first words and "Daddy" wasn't one of them. She took her first steps and I wasn't there to catch her." A tear rolled languidly down his face. "How could you do this, Lucy?"

He looked up at her, heart obliterated. "How could you keep this from me?"

Lucy swiped her own tears from her cheeks, and sobbed once. She ran a hand through her reddish hair and looked anywhere but his face.

"Do you think I liked it?" Her breathing was ragged, her lip was trembling. "Do think I like feeling my heart break every time I look at her? Ian you left me in one single night and you never called again. You slammed the door, and you never looked back. And then I found out I was pregnant." She started crying really hard then, and buried her face in her hand. The other hand clenched into a fist at the memory. "Ian how was I supposed to go to you after that fight?! I had no one. I had to give up on the record deal all together because my baby became my priority, and my baby didn't have a Daddy I could go to for help because he completely convinced me that he didn't care. That he was done with me. So that's why I didn't tell you, okay? Because until you found you about Ayva you didn't give a shit about me."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE." He exploded, nearly out of breath from the scream. "I left you because I needed you to go after what you wanted in life! And I thought I made that perfectly clear to you, but you obviously never bothered to listen. You were too damn stubborn and you were too damn busy swearing at me to reason."

"I never wanted the record deal because I loved you, dammit!" She cried, eyes bugging in anger. "And I thought that you'd appreciate that! But you kept shoving answers at me, telling me what I was supposed to do, and you never once stopped to hear what I wanted!"

The pair stared at each other, out of breath and furious. They were both crying, both scared and both just plain confused. All Ian could do was stare at her. They were both wrong; both so desperate to do the right thing that their relationship had collapsed in on itself.

Ian knew that he had the right to be angry. He knew that no one would judge him if he reacted fiercely to this situation- he had the right to hate her and never forgive her. But Ian also knew that he could never hate Lucy Hale. He couldn't truly stay angry with her. Sure he was mad, sure she had done wrong. But Lucy had a reason for letting this happen, and he knew deep down she never intended to hurt him. He couldn't truly blame her either. It was just that, after that fight, his pride and his obsession with being right had gotten in the way. He had been an asshole; they both had. But right here, right now, from this point on, the only thing they could do was move forward, together.

He let out a deep breath, slowly regaining his composure. He didn't want to be angry anymore, he just wanted to figure everything out. Gently, he reached his arm out for her wrist and took hold of it gently, realizing it was the first time he had needed her in three full years. She flinched at the contact but he looked her in the eyes, reassuring her that he wasn't angry anymore, and deep down she knew he would never hurt her. Lucy relaxed slightly, biting on her top lip.

"We both wanted what we thought was best for the other." He whispered, thumb grazing the soft skin of her arm. "And it turns out neither of us knew what that was."

She wiped her eyes with her free arm and nodded slightly. Ian's eyes roamed her face and he impulsively brushed a tear off the edge of her jaw.

"We're going to move forward, alright?" He said softly. "From now on I'm going to be here." He gulped, that nervous knot in his stomach slowly going away. He searched Lucy's eyes for hesitation before continuing. "Ayva."

"She looks like you," Lucy whispered. "And she acts like you."

Ian's heart fluttered again. "Can I- can I meet her?"

Lucy sighed before nodding her head, a small smile finally breaking her features. Ian smiled too, though still nervous and still confused. But he was also inevitably excited.

Ian Harding was about to meet his little girl.

**Well that was certainly a bombshell. I hoped you liked this chapter, even with the angst. Next chapter is probably my favourite chapter of all, and I think you're going to like it too. **

**And WOW GUYS! Thank you so much for the reviews and tweets! It means the world to me to have your support, and I'm ecstatic you're liking the story so far. Thanks a million for the support, and keep the response coming! I love to hear your thoughts, opinions, questions! **

**I'll update soon, because I can't want for next chapter. Thanks again! xo, Emily.**


	3. Chapter 3 : Oblivion

_Chapter 3_

_Blurring the lines between real and the fake._

Ian sat restlessly on the spongy, espresso coloured chair in Lucy's apartment. His stomach was still twisting, his knees were bouncing uncontrollably, and a few beads of perspiration were building on his forehead. He didn't think any heart was supposed to beat as fast as his was right now, and a million thoughts raced through his mind as he waited for Lucy to return downstairs.

There were photographs on the walls, and when Ian had seen them for the first time he'd felt the impending need to cry. In all the various photos was the same little girl- a little girl that just didn't seem real. Over the sofa, a picture of said little girl sat in a black frame, in which the baby held an inflatable 1. The baby was laughing, baring two gapped, front teeth and a thick head of dark brown hair. There was a sparkly pink ribbon on top of her head, holding the soft tendril into a broccoli-like pigtail.

On the coffee table there were picture coasters. The small squares held pictures of a pink, tiny newborn, maned with that same thick hair. She had long eyelashes, a set of enormous dimples, and the cutest round blue eyes.

Over by the TV, in a collection of smaller frames were photos that seemed much more recent- a beautiful little toddler and her stunning Mommy, laughing and smiling together on what seemed to be a farm, probably in Tennessee. Ian hadn't been aware of how much his chest was hurting until he remembered that that child in the photographs was _his_.

Blinking the tears from his eyes again, he tried his hardest not to dwell on the bitter facts. He needed to keep moving forward; remember to stay positive. After tonight, Ayva Maria Hale would know her Daddy and know that he loved her more than life itself.

Lucy and Ian had arrived back at her apartment at almost nine o'clock. Ian had suggested that they could have waited until the morning when Ayva woke up, but Lucy had insisted that he'd gone long enough without knowing her. The babysitter, who was a friend of Lucy's in New York had just gotten Ayva to bed when they'd arrived, and had given Lucy quite the look when Ian had slipped though the door behind her.

Now he was sitting here, trying to stay calm as he felt his life falling sideways. Would Ayva like him? Would she want anything to do with him? He wondered about when she got older- would she hate him for being absent the first two and a half years of her little life? Ian wasn't sure if he was ready to be a father; he didn't know the slightest thing about it.

His head nearly turned at the creak of the stairs behind him, but nothing but a feisty sense of man power stopped the impulse. Ian knew, deep down that he wasn't emotionally ready for the coming scene, but he was growing anxious to see her. This little girl in the photos still didn't seem real, and he needed proof she existed. This whole night was too crazy to believe- and he half expected Lucy to come down the stairs alone and say, "just kidding!"

But whether it was fear or fantasy, Ian wasn't sure. Whatever the emotion inside of him was, it silenced as the soft sound of a whimper rolled into earshot.

The willpower Ian has successfully established suddenly vanished, and he whipped around to the sound he'd heard. Initially, he only saw Lucy and for a millisecond thought that the "just kidding" scenario was true. That was, until his eyes fell south and found the pink monkey pajamas.

The little girl's right cheek was pressed against Lucy's right shoulder, her eyes squeezed shut with a zebra-printed pacifier bobbing in her mouth. In one of her hands was a fistful of Lucy's dark hair, in the other was a second soother, as if she was completely terrified of losing the one in her mouth.

A rush of hot tears pooled Ian's eyes all over again, and he silently choked on the breath trapped in his chest.

And suddenly, she wasn't a photograph anymore. She was a tiny, fussy, breathing little child. She was his- _their _tiny, fussy, breathing little child. She knew how to laugh and cry and speak and walk, how to hold a crayon, how to smile for a picture. But the one thing she didn't know, was who her Daddy was.

Perhaps she had a favourite food. Maybe she wanted a puppy or a kitten or even just a fish. Ayva could have loved to colour, loved to paint. But Ian didn't know. He didn't know a single thing about his daughter.

Lucy reached the last stair, exhaling a nervous breath as she did so. She slowly carried Ayva into the room, sitting down onto the couch beside him. Ian sat paralyzed, the shock he felt too strong for his body to register.

"Ayva, dolly," Lucy whispered, tilting the child slightly. Ian stared in utter and complete awe, unsure of how to speak.

Her hair was dark, almost black, and hung to her shoulder blades. The ends flipped off into one perfect little curl.

She had Lucy's eyelashes, which were long and curly and jet black. She hadn't opened her eyes yet, but Ian could tell they were already as big as Lucy's.

Her little fingernails were painted a fuchsia pink, the paint almost completely worn off her thumb nail. She was a thumb-sucker, just like Ian had been as a child. Ian couldn't stop gawking at her. A part of him knew that he loved this baby girl more than life itself- _already_.

Lucy smiled meekly at him, and Ayva rubbed her eyes, dropping the second pacifier. It landed against Ian's thigh.

"Ayva, wake up baby." Lucy whispered, kissing her forehead. Ayva slowly opened her eyes, and glowered at her mother for dragging her out of bed. The toddler whined, chewing on the rubber bud of the pacifier in her mouth.

"I need you to wake up." Lucy whispered softly. "There is someone really special who wants to meet you."

The child finished rubbing her eyes and looked quizzically at her Mommy. She hadn't noticed Ian yet.

"Who?"

Ayva's voice was like a melodic peal of silver bells, ringing just for Ian's ears. His heart melted like an ice cream cone in Hawaii and he suddenly felt himself slipping. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to be the very best Daddy in the entire world, to spoil her rotten and to give her the world. Ian wasn't nervous anymore, he felt instead excited. This little human was partly his, and from now on he was going to make sure she was the happiest little girl on the planet.

Lucy turned Ayva in her lap, and the two-year-old looked straight at Ian. Ian's breath caught again and he gulped, smiling warmly at his daughter.

"Ayva, this is-" Lucy paused, looking at Ian with reluctance in her eyes. He knew it would be unfair and confusing to Ayva for Lucy to suddenly announce that Ian was her Daddy, and even though his heart ached at the sad truth, he reached his hand out towards the little girl and smiled.

"I'm Ian." He whispered, smiling as her soft, tiny hand took his fingers. He gently shook her hand, watching in a euphoric state as the action made her smile. Lucy was biting on her lip, watching the pair with wet, adoring eyes.

Ayva pulled her hand away from his then, but only to pluck the pacifier from her mouth. It made a noisy 'pop' sound and she held it to Lucy.

"Momma, can you hold my binky?" She asked, and Ian was blown away by her speech. She spoke with a thick lisp and pronounced her c's as t's, but you could still understand her perfectly. Ayva climbed out of Lucy's lap, and sat on her knees, facing Ian. Her teeth were gapped and her dimples were huge.

"My name ith Ayva." The little girl said, staring up at Ian. "I'm two." She held up two fingers, to clarify her age.

Ian smiled at her, laughing softly at her outgoing personality. "Well, Ayva, it's a pleasure to meet you."

The adorable little girl stood up on the couch then, holding onto Lucy's shoulder for balance. All the tiredness had vanished, and she'd suddenly regained all her energy.

"Ian is very special Ayva," Lucy told her, catching the child's attention. Ian also looked up, confused.

"Why?" Ayva asked, reaching down for her 'binky' again. She shoved it in her mouth and hopped off the couch, prancing across the room to where a big stuffed unicorn sat on the floor.

"Because he's going to see you and Momma more often now." Lucy tried her best to explain as Ayva ran back across the room with her unicorn. She climbed back up onto the couch and sat between Lucy and Ian, the toy in her arms. "Ian is Momma's special friend, and he's going to visit us a lot now- but only if that's okay with you."

Ayva turned up at Ian, smiling again at her new found friend. Ian on the other hand wasn't sure how to go about this- he wanted nothing more than to hug his daughter, but at the same time wanted Ayva to come to him. It seemed like going at Ayva's pace was the best thing to do, and he was pleased to feel like she was warming up already.

Ian watched as she placed her unicorn in his lap, squirming around in the place she was sitting. Using Ian's shoulder for leverage, Ayva pulled herself up into a standing position again and looked at him.

"Her name ith Moo." She informed him, and Ian suddenly became aware of the resemblance Ayva and Lucy shared. The only feature that reminded Ian of himself were her beautiful eyes.

"Moo, hey?" He picked up the unicorn and inspected it. "I think that's a pretty cool name."

Ayva smiled brightly, exposing the big dimples in her cheeks. She unexpectedly grabbed Ian's hand and tugged on it.

"I haff other ones too." She said enthusiastically, tugging on his hands to try and get him to follow her. Ian smiled and stood up, revelling in the feeling of acceptance. He glanced at Lucy again, and fought the urge to cry tears of joy as his daughter pulled him over to her toy box. If this was what being a daddy felt like, it was something he could get used to.

Ayva fell asleep an hour later, after taking the care to show Ian each and every one of her stuffed animals. There was Moo the unicorn, Ziggy the zebra, Fuzzy the lion, Perdita the dalmation and about two hundred others that Ian swore to learn the names of. Lucy had joined in on their fun as well, and it felt more than wonderful for the three of them to being doing something together. Maybe someday they could be one dysfunctional family, but only if that was what Ayva and Lucy wanted.

Lucy scooped Ayva up off the carpet, cradling the sleeping child in her arms. Her hand swiped along the couch and scooped up Ayva's second 'binky'.

"She likes that thing, doesn't she?" Ian said softly, standing up. He started putting the stuffed animals back into their wicker basket.

Lucy smiled and kissed her daughter's head. "She's like an addict. If she wakes up without a backup in her hand you're almost guaranteed permanent hearing loss."

Ian chuckled. "She's- she's amazing." His voice grew thick as he stared affectionately at the child in Lucy's arms. "You've done an amazing job, Luce."

Lucy looked at him, her beautiful hazel eyes glossy. "She loves you already."

He smiled, feeling a flicker of warmth in his chest as he looked at Lucy holding their baby girl. Regardless of how advanced she was in her speech and maturity, she was still just a baby, and Ian was thankful that he got to be a part of her life as young as he could. He knew that from now on, he'd be there for Ayva- and for Lucy.

"I'm just going to put her up to bed." Lucy whispered, glancing at the couch. "I'll be two minutes."

She and Ayva disappeared up the stairs, and Ian collapsed on the couch again. This night had been the biggest shock of his life. In less than four hours, everything had changed. Ian had gone from zero to Daddy in twelve seconds.

Lucy returned a few minutes later, changed out of her dinner outfit into sweatpants and a t-shirt. Her hair was pulled up off her neck.

"You're welcome to stay the night." She said as she curled up on the couch beside him. "You know, if you wanted to stick around us for the weekend."

Ian agreed politely, sighing in a mix of contentment and tiredness. Going home would be too hard- now that he knew about Ayva, he realized that any separation, even for the night would be difficult.

Ian looked at Lucy, who was biting on her fingernails, lost in thought.

"You alright?" Ian asked, and all at once she broke down, sobbing harshly into her hands.

Ian automatically went to her, not caring if he was entitled or not to comfort her. One arm wrapped around her body protectively, and the other rubbed up and down her arm, as he tried to calm her.

"Lucy, shh, it's okay. Don't cry." He begged. He'd never liked the sound of her tears, even if it was just for a scene they were filming on set.

Lucy looked up at him, eyes filled with confusion. Her dark eyebrows were knit, and her forehead was scrunched.

"Why don't you hate me?" She gasped, trying to catch her breath. "You have the right to be _so_ _angry_ and yet you're here comforting me, Ian. I kept your daughter from you, and I can try and justify it to you and to myself over and over but I'll always know it was the wrong thing to do.

"I just sat and watched you play with her, and I swear I've never seen anyone look more in love. I convinced myself you wouldn't have cared about us, and I was stupid to do that. And still, you forgive me like I did nothing wrong."

"Lucy," He cut her off, silencing her fears. "I already told you that what happened between us is irrelevant." Not caring how bold his move was, he took he hand into his and squeezed it tightly. "We're moving forward as two new people."

They looked at each other in a mutual agreement, and Lucy finally nodded after a long pause.

"I want you to be a big part of her life." She said softly, the final tear of her worries running down her cheek. "Eventually, I want her to know you as Daddy." She paused for a second. "I'm so, so sorry Ian."

"I would like that, too." He murmured. "And please don't be sorry."

The conversation carried on then, both of them confessing their interests for the near future. Tomorrow Ian would have all day to spend with little Ayva and Lucy, and hopefully their bond would grow. The whole time, Ian never let go of Lucy's hand, wanting her to know that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Lucy yawned and then excused herself to retire to bed. They shared a brief argument about who would take the couch, and Ian won, not about to let her sleep on an uncomfortable sofa all night. She gave him a blanket and pillow, and then they said goodnight, Ian curling up on the couch, exhausted.

Yes, tonight had been the most shocking and most surreal night of his life.

But it was also his favourite.

**So voila. Chapter 3. I wonder if Ayva will connect with Ian- and if there's still a spark between Ian and Lucy.. hmmm…**

**Haha anyways, thank you for the support so far. I love that you guys are enjoying so far! When you review, I smile really big and my brain starts writing; so if you want fast updates, review!**

**Thanks to Kate, Emmalee and Becca for helping me work out a few kinks. See you soon!**


	4. Chapter 4 : Euphoria

The following morning, Ian opened his eyes to find the face of a bright, pacifier-sucking two-year-old little girl staring straight at him.

He panicked for a second, totally unaware of his surroundings. Quickly, the memories of the night before came flooding back, and he realized that he was in Lucy Hale's apartment, where he'd spent the night on her sofa.

He also remembered that the child, who had by now climbed right on top of his chest was his daughter.

"Inan?" Ayva asked as Ian yawned, breaking out of slumber. He chuckled at the mispronunciation of his name, and also at the fact that Ayva was completely unafraid on the practical stranger on her couch. She climbed over Ian, into the small space between the couch's back and Ian's body, then squirmed around until she could get close to his face again.

"Ith you awake?" She asked in a whisper, in case he still was sleeping of course.

Ian laughed and pulled himself into a sitting position, smiling brightly at happy little Ayva, who was practically glowing from a good night's sleep.

"I sure am," Ian looked down to see that he'd slept in his clothes- a dress shirt and jeans to be honest. The outfit had been anything but comfortable, albeit comfort being the last thing on his mind.

He surprisingly had gotten some sleep last night, probably due to the mental exhaustion his brain had endured the past day.

Ayva popped the soother out of her mouth and held it up to Ian to hold onto, and then wriggled off the couch again. He smiled at how wiggly she was- she couldn't sit still for a minute. A trait that had to have come from her father.  
Ian took the pacifier from her, watching as she galloped across the room to the bottom of the stairs.

"MOMMA!" Ayva yelled. "INAN WOKED UP!"

Ian laughed heartily, standing up from his place on the couch. He rubbed his eyes, running his hand over his face. Ayva was still waiting there, and a moment later he heard hurried footsteps rushing to the stairs. Lucy rocketed down the stairs, her dark hair bouncing and her clothing still dishevelled from sleeping.

"Ayva Maria." Lucy trudged down the stairs and scooped her daughter off the floor, face squinted in anger. "Did you just wake up Ian? And what did Momma tell you about climbing out of your crib?" Lucy glanced apologetically at Ian and Ayva glared at Lucy, squirming to get down.

"It's okay, Luce." Ian said, walking over to the two girls. "I was already awake." Okay, maybe it was a lie, but what could he say? He was already wrapped around her little finger.

Ayva continued to squirm, and then shot her arms out straight for Ian. Lucy gave her a stern look.

"Don't you do it again, Ayva." Ian was impressed by Lucy's directive Mommy-tone. At her mother's voice, Ayva stopped squirming and just listened. But, the second Lucy finished, her arms were reaching for Ian again.

Ian hadn't held his daughter before now, and his heart fluttered at the thought. Lucy smiled at him and gently passed Ayva to him, who agreeably rested herself on Ian's hip.

"Why was you theeping in your clothes?"Ayva asked him, picking at the button of his dress shirt.

Lucy laughed out loud, sauntering off into the adjoined kitchen to start breakfast. Ian and Ayva followed.

"I forgot my PJ's," Ian said tenderly to her, shifting her slightly to get a better grip. He was terrified he was going to drop her- she was so light and tiny. "And I don't think that yours can fit me, silly goose."

Ayva laughed, the sound the most beautiful thing that had ever reached Ian's ears. She giggled again, and Lucy watched contentedly.

"I don't know, Ayva. Do you think a tutu would look good on Ian?" She joked, whilst digging in the refrigerator for eggs.

Ayva laughed even harder, looking up at Ian with her big blue eyes that reminded him of himself.

"Momma can you pwease put matos in my eggs?" Ayva asked, pointing to the big bowl of tomatoes on the counter.

"Momma isn't good with fancy cooking, baby." Lucy said, wincing while she whisked the milk and into the scrambled-egg mixture. "But Ian is a really good cook. Maybe he can put 'matos in your eggs?" Lucy smiled at Ian, who smirked, taking the bait to play along. He wanted to make Ayva laugh- and Lucy laugh.

Ian made his way to the island where Lucy was prepping the egg mix and stood beside her.

"Yes, Ian is a much better cook than your Momma." He said to Ayva, setting her down in the highchair type thing that was strapped to the island seat. He retrieved a tomato from the counter, rinsing it in the sink.

"Actually, if I do recall correctly, Momma makes the best macaroni and cheese." Lucy snapped back, trying to hide the smirk. "Right Ayva?"  
Ian felt his heart beating faster as he and Lucy teased each other, just like they had three years ago. It felt nice to be able to say they held a good relationship again, even if it was to make their daughter laugh.

Ayva nodded furiously in accord with her mother.

"Well you haven't tried Ian's mac and cheese," He leaned his muscular body and rested with his elbows on the island, snickering at how talking in third person was almost mandatory with small kids. He wished he could call himself Daddy. "I think it's better than Momma's."

"See Ayva?" Lucy said, play-glaring at Ian. "Ian is being a sore winner."

"Dat's not nice Inan." Ayva said to him.

"Momma is being a sore loser." Ian argued, nudging Lucy playfully.

"Dat's not nice either, Momma."

"We're only kidding, babe." Lucy reassured a concerned-looking Ayva. "Ian and Momma both make excellent macaroni and cheese." Lucy chuckled and turned, not realizing her mistake until she crashed face first right into Ian.

Lucy stepped back slightly, looking up at Ian to try and apologize. Ian however only smiled, looking down at her lovely face. Even though it was first thing in the morning, her face was the prettiest thing in the world. Ian gulped, realizing that she was in kissing distance. The last time she'd been this close, he wouldn't have hesitated to kiss her. He wondered briefly if she felt the same way as he did, nastolgic and even a little bit sad. But he knew three years of raising his baby alone had given her lots of time to fall out of love with him.

They stepped away from each other to continue preparing breakfast, the new found ability to tease each other lost in an uncomfortable silence.

Ayva remained oblivious to the silence, contentedly sitting in her chair and drinking the juice Lucy had given her. When the juice was gone, she froze, twisting and squirming around in her highchair.  
The child whimpered in frustration.

"Ayva," Lucy said in a warning tone. "You don't need binky right now."

The little girl huffed, unhappily shoving her thumb back into her mouth in an unsatisfactory compensation.

Ten minutes passed, Ian finishing the scrambled eggs with tomato and Lucy preparing two mugs of coffee. Ayva watched the pair from her seat, observing Ian intently. He placed her eggs down in front of her, watching as she smiled at them.

"I fink that Inan makes the best eggs, Momma." Ayva said, struggling to keep the on her plastic fork.

Ian smiled, and Lucy ruffled her daughter's hair. "Okay, Ian wins."

The three of them ate breakfast quietly, until Ayva broke the silence again.

"Momma, I don't want to go to Diana's today," She pouted sadly, nervously sucking on her thumb. Ian thought she looked so cute.

Ian looked at Lucy to silently ask who Diana was.

"It's Saturday, silly," Lucy scooped Ayva up form the high hair and carried her over to the sink to wash the little girl's face. "You only go to Diana's on weekdays." Ian assumed Diana was a babysitter.

Ayva nodded, turning uncooperatively as Lucy tried to wash her face. "Inan can stay and play!" Ayva exclaimed, thrilled.

Ian smiled, the warmest feeling spreading in his stomach. Her approval meant so much, and he wanted today to be super special.

"Well, I had an even better idea." He said, taking the little girl from Lucy again. She went back to playing with the buttons on his dress shirt.

"Why don't we go get some hot chocolate and donuts?" The proposal made Ayva nod, eyes wide with excitement. She squirmed in his arms and he sat her down on the floor.

"I'm going to get dwessed!" She cried happily, taking off for the stairs.

"Oh dear," Lucy said, hurrying after her daughter. "I'd better help her. How about we meet at Jumping Bean, say, eleven?" Her head turned towards the carpet staircase that Ayva was climbing. "I'll text you, okay?"

Ian nodded, deciding it was time to go home and shower. They shared a brief goodbye, and he left, heading for his apartment.

***  
At eleven o'clock, Ian came to the entrance of Jumping Bean, changed and showered and ready for the day. His was anticipating seeing Lucy and Ayva again. Thinking of them was like waiting for morning on Christmas Eve.

The familiar smell of coffee and sprinkles greeted him welcomedly, as did the sight of a low-levelled set of brunette heads. Lucy was ordering at the counter, Ayva on her hip.

Ian smiled giddily as he approached the two girls, waiting on the pick-up side of the counter. Neither of them had noticed Ian standing there, and he took the opportunity to take in the adorable face of Ayva, and then the very beautiful face of Lucy.

Her cheeks were rosy from the chilly November air, and her beautiful hazel eyes stood out against her pale complexion. His eyes fell to her pink lips and her perfect white teeth, to her jawline and her loose pony tail. Ian sighed. She was too beautiful for words to describe, even dressed in a simple Saturday-mommy-outfit.

"Inan!" Ayva's soft, high voice rang out across the coffee shop, pulling him from his thoughts. He watched as she wiggled to get down from her mother's arms, reaching out towards him. Ian pulled off his beanie. There was no sense in trying to stay under the radar with a noisy two year old around.

Lucy set her down, the little girl piloting straight for her father. She wrapped her little arms around his legs and smiled up at him, the zebra pacifier still bobbing in her mouth.

"Hi Inan!" She said, the dimple in her cheek forming as she smiled. Ian scooped her up, noticing her royal blue Ugg boots and suede trench coat. Lucy obviously took pride in dressing her daughter. "Momma bought nonuts fow us."

"I love donuts." Ian said dramatically, which caused Ayva to smile again. She was such a happy little child, it really blew his mind.

Lucy approached them then with  
a tray of coffees and an bag of donuts. "Hey," she greeted Ian pleasantly.

They sauntered over to a booth seat, and Ian sat Ayva down on the inside. The little girl pulled her binky from her mouth and laid it on the table, eyes fixated on the bag of donuts in her mother's hands.

"Can I haff a sprinkly one?" Ayva asked. Even though her mother was holding the donuts, she was looking at Ian, as if she already knew that there was a better chance of getting her way with him. Lucy picked up on her action and chuckled, passing Ayva the requested sprinkled donut.

"What kind would you like, Inan?" Lucy said, mimicking Ayva's pronunciation of his name. She laid out the options onto the oversized napkin. "A cronut, a crueller or a Boston cream?"

Ian raised his hands in the air, shaking his head. Along with his growing career, Ian had become very much aware of his physique and metabolism. He worked out much more, watched his calorie intake and had given his best effort to lay off the sweets.

"I'm alright," He politely declined, pushing the napkin towards Lucy.

"Who'd think they'd ever see the day Ian Harding would refuse a Boston cream donut?" Lucy teased, pushing the pastries back to him. "Come on, have a treat."

Ian sucked in a breath, remembering his fast approaching action film. There were plenty of shirtless scenes and donuts weren't about to help his cause.

"I can't." He said, watching a strange emotion cross Lucy's eyes. She shrugged a moment later, picking up her beloved cronut from the napkin and taking a bite.

"Suit yourself."

Ian turned to Ayva, who was too preoccupied by her donut to say anything. There was sprinkle-dye all over her face, including her nose, and Ian thought she was the cutest thing in existence.

Still chewing loudly, Ayva turned to Ian, looking up at him from her spot in the booth. "Why awen't you eating a nonut, Inan?"

"Because Ian needs to stay employed." He answered, half sarcastically. Ayva merely bobbed her head and went back to her treat, as if she completely understood what he'd said.

"Ian, do you really think they won't want you?" Lucy's voice dripped with concern.

"It's just a set back. You know what the idealistic actor looks like."

"And that you do." Lucy said. Ian knew she was sensitive about body image- which was why she was getting slightly upset. "You have a great body, Ian, and you don't have to give up every treat."

He sighed. "I know, I'm just not hungry."

Lucy huffed, dropping her arguement.

Maybe it was the wrong impression, but Lucy's words seemed to have come across in a means of caring. And Ian couldn't help but wonder if she really did still care anything about him.

***  
Ian, Ayva and Lucy walked hand in hand down the busy city street, their destination, Ayva's favourite toy store.

It wasn't that Ian intentionally wanted to spoil her, but there was a part of him that was still feeling insecure. He couldn't help but feel like a crappy father- Ayva didn't even call him Daddy, yet. Missing out on most of her little life was something that was already tolling on his conscience, and he wanted her to know that it would never happen again.

"Where aw we going?" Ayva asked for the billionth time as she walked, holding one of Ian's hands and one of Lucy's.

"I told you it was a surprise, Squirt." Lucy said, looking down at Ayva affectionately. Ayva pouted, frustrated at her lack of knowledge.

"Inan, where aw we going?"

Lucy laughed audibly and glared at Ian. "It's still a surprise, right Ian?"

"Right, momma." Ian answered in a whatever-she-says sort of way. Lucy and Ian shared a brief smile as Ayva tugged them along.

They finally reached the entrance of the toy store, and Ayva squealed in glee. She tugged on Ian and Lucy's hands to drag them inside the store.

Ayva stood still and looked around the beautifully decorated toy store. Since it was November, all the chrristmas displays had already been set up, and sparkling lights hung everywhere. The toddler's eyes spotted a huge, fuzzy, chocolate brown teddy bear that sat on a stand against the wall. She stood in a trance, her big, beautiful, blue eyes glistening in the store's twinkling lights. Ian grinned, enthralled by the two-year-old's innocent amazement.

Ian scooped Ayva up from the ground, looking at the teddy bear with her. They walked towards it, and Ayva's little hand brushed against the bear's purple ribbon.

"Do you like this bear?" Ian asked her softly, watching the smile on her face in a trance-like state. his heart felt like it was swelling.

Ayva nodded, dropping her hand from the soft bear. "Maybe I tan ask Santa fow it,"

"Well," Ian said softly, looking affectionately at the little girl. "What if Ian got it for you today?"

Ayva's little eyes widened again, and she smiled wider than he'd ever seen her yet. "Really, Inan?"

Ian nodded and picked up the bear off the stand, letting Ayva squeeze it tightly against her chest. "Fank you, Inan."

He just smiled and carried Ayva and the bear to the checkout, oblivious to the fact that Lucy had been watching him the entire time.

***  
They returned to Lucy's apartment at close to three o'clock, which by then Ayva was barely awake. Lucy carried her into the apartment, Ian holding her precious new teddy bear. She whimpered in Lucy's arms, mumbling something about binky.

"She normally goes for her nap at two." Lucy explained, rifiling in her purse with her spare hand. She pulled out two soothers, one that Ayva shoved in her mouth and the other she gripped tightly in her little fist. "I'm just going to put her up for an hour or so."

Ian set her new bear in Ayva's arms, watching as she snuggled down into it.

"Alright Ayva Bean, let's go for nap."

Lucy disappeared up the stairs, and Ian sat down on the couch. He picked up one of the infamous picture frames off of the end table. Lucy was holding Ayva as a slightly younger child. The pair were snuggled together, sound asleep. She was such a wonderful mother.

When Lucy returned, he set the frame back down and stood up from the couch. "I'm going to run home, now. I have to take a look at my new script, and fill out some paperwork."

"Okay," Lucy agreed, nodding. She walked him out to the porch, looking as if she had something to tell him. Ian smiled at her as he slid on his shoes.

"She really loves you, Ian." Lucy reminded him again, gulping. She was watching him intently.

"She's an amazing little girl," He said, smiling. "And you're an amazing mother."

Her her hazel eyes were glossy with a strange emotion. "Thank you," her voice was soft. "And thank you for today."

He wasn't expecting her to hug him like she did, but as her arms wrapped around his waist, Ian revelled in the feeling of her soft, warm body. He had always loved her hugs, and he realized how much he'd missed them.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Ian whispered, and they broke apart.

But needless to say, he never wanted to let go.

**I'm really sorry this chapter took so long, I just had a busy week. But here it is, and I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for the lovely reviews last chapter, keep them up! And thanks to all my lovely friends on twitter. You know who you are :)**


	5. Chapter 5 : Shatter

_Chapter 5  
Cause lately I've been waking up alone._

"Do you fink there will be any duckies?" Ayva asked excitedly from her high chair, where she was happily eating her breakfast the following morning. She tipped her sippy-cup of organic apple juice upside down and shook it, a frantic attempt to show her mother that her drink was empty.

"Alright, alright." Lucy snatched the cup from her daughter before the remaining droplets could spill over everything.

On the edge of the tray sat a rubber duck, Ayva's newest addition to her artificial animal collection. It, like her new bear, was a gift from none other than Ian.

He stood at the island vigorously sipping on a mug of coffee, watching his precious daughter sit in her high chair. No, he really hadn't really intendedon buying her another toy, but upon his arrival to Lucy's apartment that morning he'd passed a novelty shop. And well, the duck had been in the window. He figured that at this rate, by Christmas, he'd be bankrupt.

"I'm sure there will be lots of duckies." Ian responded pleasantly. The rubber duck had given him an idea for how could spend their second day together- a lovely excursion to a nearby duck pond.

"Momma don't wike sans," Ayva mumbled as Lucy handed her back her refilled cup of apple juice.

Ian glanced at Lucy, not sure exactly what sans were.

"No, momma does not like _swans_," Lucy clarified for him, putting the apple juice back in the fridge. "Swans are meanies."

Ian laughed. "How you could hate swans?" He asked her playfully, nudging her arm. "You're a Lucy Goose!"

Ayva erupted into a fit of loud giggles.

Lucy fell silent then, blushing at the fact that Ian had actually used the nickname he'd called her years ago. Ian hoped it hadn't upset her; he'd only wanted to make reference to the pun and get Ayva to laugh. He flashed Lucy a reassuring grin, and noticed her gaze lingered a little longer than it should have.

There was that tension again.

Ayva shoved a grape half into her mouth, then began worming around in her high chair. "Can we go now?"

"Five more grapes and then we can go." Lucy bargained like a professional, and Ayva got to work.

When Ayva finished her breakfast and Lucy and Ian's coffees had both been long drained, the little girl started squirming again. Ian lifted her out of the high chair and set her down on the floor. As soon as her little toes hit the hardwood, she scampered off to go get dressed.

"Wait for Momma, Ayva!" Lucy called in a somewhat frazzled state, as her energetic two-year-old pranced about. Ayva suddenly paused, an impish grin on her face.

"I want Inan to help me."

Ian furrowed his eyebrows. His area of expertise was lacking when it came to dressing little girls, hadn't the chance arisen before now.

Lucy gave Ayva a mock warning look. "Well it looks like someone likes Ian more than Momma,"

Ayva picked one of her binkies off the coffee table and jammed it in her mouth. She rushed over to Lucy and wrapped her short arms around her mother's legs.

"I luff you Momma."

Lucy chuckled, lifting her baby girl long enough to kiss her head. "I love you too, Ayva Bean."

Ian swallowed away a lump that had formed in his throat. Even though he was here now, and things couldn't have been going better, he couldn't help but feel excluded. Quite technically, they were blood related. But regardless of any technicalities, Ian wasn't yet apart of Lucy and Ayva's little family. And that made him very sad.

Dressing a two-year-old proved to be an even bigger task than he thought.

About twenty or so tutu skirts hung up in her closet, and Ian had absolutely no idea how they even worked. Ayva had chosen a sparkly pink one, and when Ian had suggested she wear something warmer- well, that hadn't been alright.

"But I like the pink one," Ayva argued, dragging out her l's as she spoke. Her tiny hand flicked the plastic handle of her soother.

"But it's cold out, you'll freeze." As much of a pushover as he'd become, Ian was not about to let her wear a tutu skirt in mid November.

"No I not," the toddler argued, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Yes you will,"

Lucy poked her head into the door from the hallway then, now dressed in dark wash skinny jeans and a warm wool sweater. She giggled as Ayva continued to argue with Ian about the tutu.

"You were supposed to tell Ian that you can wear leggings under it," Lucy dug around in one of Ayva's dresser drawers and pulled out a pink and white striped pair of fleecey leggings. Ayva grinned triumphantly.

"Why doesn't Momma take it from here and Ian can help?" Even though the offer was out of courtesy, Ian felt a tad belittled. It wasn't his fault he knew nothing about fatherhood, wasn't it?

Ian watched as Lucy pulled a white, toddler onesie from the drawer. She proceeded to change Ayva from her zebra pajamas into her outfit with great ease, all the while still managing to make the child smile and laugh as she did so. Ian swore that Ayva Hale had to be the most adorable little girl in the world.

"You're all done, girly pie," Lucy rested Ayva on her hip and turned to Ian. "And that, good sir, is how you wear a tutu in November."

Ayva squirmed in Lucy's arms and reached for Ian then, to which he gladly took her. The little girl reached again for the top button of his long sleeved henney t-shirt, and rested her head in the crook of his neck.

"Can we pwease go see the duckies now?"

Ian chuckled. "Alright, we can go."

The park, fortunately wasn't as crowded as Ian anticipated it being. With smaller crowds came less risk of being bombarded by screaming fans, and considering Ian was again with Lucy and yet a child, paparazzi and teenagers weren't exactly going to help his cause of staying under the radar.

Lucy had kept Ayva away from the photographers to a great extent. With Lucy's break from the spotlight came Ayva's, and Ian had been nervous about how she'd react had there been paparazzi. He didn't want the cameras to scare her, whereas they tended to be the most menacing things to a baby. But as they made their was to the park's public duck pond, not one camera was in sight.

In the same fashion as yesterday, Ayva walked between Ian and Lucy, holding one hand of each of her parents. In his spare hand, Ian was holding a bag of bread.

"I SEE A DUCKY!" Ayva shouted excitedly, trying to run ahead. Lucy and Ian beamed at her excitement and picked up their pace a little.

When they reached the duck pond, Lucy adjusted Ayva's little baby beanie, then pulled a pair of fuzzy gloves out of her purse.

"Don't take them off, okay?" Lucy said. She straightened Ayva's jacket so it sat straight, the edge of the coat reaching the waistband of her tutu. Between the striped leggings, Uggs, faux leather jacket and beanie, she was the best dressed little girl around.

Ian untied the tie on the bag of bread and handed Ayva a piece. With Lucy's guidence, Ayva started tossing chucks of her bread into the water. A swarm of ducks swooped over to her, and the child laughed loudly.

Ian noticed a long-necked swan gliding towards them, and felt Lucy tense slightly against him. Ian smirked at her and she gently smacked her hand against his arm.

"I fink the duckies like me!" Ayva squealed, looking at Ian for another slice of bread. She went to work, making sure that each little duck got a morsel of bread.

"I don't like that swan," Lucy said, and Ian noticed that she had began to cower behind him slightly. "Ayva baby, stay away from that swan."

Ian laughed at her. Not thinking about boundaries, he threw an arm around her and squeezed her tightly. "Don't worry, I won't let the swan hurt you,"

He realized what he was doing then, and dropped his arm like a hot potato. They shuffled away from each other, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, but the atmosphere was suddenly incredibly awkward. It just seemed like he should have been able to do that- fooling around was what Lucy and Ian did. There was never a time they couldn't do that, and Ian wondered if it was all because of that nasty breakup three years ago.

He glanced at Lucy from his peripheral vision, who was beet red and picking at her fingernails. She looked almost upset.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her, meeting her glassy eyes.

Lucy didn't respond. Instead, she looked away from him and began to walk away, muttering something about her phone and Ian's car. Ian was confused and slightly hurt. He hadn't done anything that could have remotely upset her, and then he'd even apologized. Yet still she sulked off in search of his car, without even an explanation. As he watched her, he could have sworn that he saw her wipe her eyes.

A shrill, terror-filled scream pulled Ian back out of his thoughts, and he turned to find a horrific sight before him. Ayva was screaming blue murder, for that same god forsaken swan had clamped itself onto her mitten. She was desperately trying to run backwards as the swan yanked on her tiny mitten, but with no luck.

Ian jumped, stopping at nothing as he dove for his daughter, grabbing her around the middle as he hauled her back out of the hungry bird. Her slice of bread, as well as her mitten flew off of her hand, the ducks launching into a feeding frenzy. The swan however, clasped Ayva's little pink glove in its bill and swan off, all as if he owned the whole pond.

Ayva began wailing, and in a panic, Ian rushed for the bench a few feet away. He sat down, cradling Ayva into his body and rocked her back and forth, trying to make her cries go away.

He took her dimpled, now mitten-less hand and inspected it, making sure that the swan hadn't in fact injured her. There was no sign of even as much as a scrape, so Ian decided that above all else she had suffered only a terrible fright.

"Shh, it's okay," Ian murmured, rubbing his hand up and down her back as she started to calm down. "You're alright, the swan is gone."

Ayva eventually stopped crying, her sobs only attempts to catch her breath. She looked up pitifully to Ian, bottom lip wobbling.

"The san took my mitten," she said, broken heartedly. "He took it fwom me,"

"That wasn't very nice of him," Ian agreed, sitting her up in his knee. He brushed his fingers through her hair, adjusting her hat. "But Ian will but you new mittens, alright?"

Ayva nodded, rubbing her eyes with her fists. "Where's my Momma?"

His heart squeezed slightly, realizing that even though he'd calmed her down, she still wasn't recovered from the scare and he couldn't be the one to bring her full comfort.

On cue, Ian heard Lucy's velvety voice call out if she returned from the car. Ayva crawled out of his lap and ran for her mother, beginning to cry all over again. Lucy scooped her up and tried to understand the child's unclear messages.

Ian explained what had happened, but he wasn't in that great of a mood anymore. He wasn't sure if he was irritated at Lucy for walking away earlier, or if he was bitter for not being able to calm down Ayva. Either way, he realized that it was time for he and Lucy to have a long conversation. Ian had promised both Lucy and himself that they'd move forward together- but he was realizing that these daily outings and visits weren't going to be okay forever. And if he wanted to be a crucial part in his daughter's life, he was going to have to ask for custody.

Two hours and three ice cream sundaes later, Ian, Lucy and Ayva all sat in Ian's car on the ride home. Ayva was slumped over, sound asleep in her car seat, her two infamous soothers by her side. Ian's hands were on the steering wheel, Lucy's busy picking her fingernails. An uncomfortable silence hung in the car around them.

"Why did you walk away like that?" Ian asked suddenly, figuring he'd better suck it up and ask her now, before it was too late. He needed to know why she was acting so strange before his brain exploded.

Lucy didn't answer. She just looked down at her shoes, then out the window.

"Lucy, answer me."

He was growing increasingly irritated, and with every second that passed, he wondered if she ever knew why she had.

"Lucy!" He half yelled, then panicked, fearful he'd woken Ayva. She stirred slightly, but then went right back to sleep, soothed by the patter of the rain on the windows.

Lucy was glaring at him, biting down on her lip. She took a moment before she responded.

"Why do you even care?"

"Oh my god," Ian chuckled wryly. "You're pulling this card."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't understand what I did wrong, and you have the nerve to pull that stupid 'you should already know card'. I'm sorry if my brain is interpreting things wrong, but I have no idea why you got mad at me earlier."

"Well I'm sorry if I felt slightly hurt that you couldn't bare to touch me for a moment."

"_What_!?" He half asked, half gasped. He had no idea what she was talking about.

"You put your arm around me, joking around. And then you realized _who_ it was you were joking around with and dropped your hand like I was some germ."

Ian suddenly felt his stomach sink, realizing then what his actions earlier must have come off like. He hadn't meant for that to happen at all, he just hadn't wanted to make her feel uncomfortable.

"Lucy," his voice was so gentle it could have out-won a puppy's love. "You know that's not true."

He hadn't realized she was crying until he looked over. Ian gulped, gently grasping one of her hands into his.

He wanted to explain his reasoning for his action, but just couldn't bring it to words. All that was on his mind was the fact that something that small had upset her so dearly.

It was evident that she was struggling. He had underestimated how sensitive she'd become, and knew that the bulk of it was his fault. Initially, his theory was that three years and a baby had given her lots of time to fall out of love with him. He assumed that she wouldn't have been able to stand him, and that their relationship, from this point on could only be platonic.

But maybe, one big fight after a two year relationship, a relationship that had priorly been a three year friendship- maybe it wasn't enough to make them fall out of love with each other. Maybe there was an actual chance that she still cared about him, and that was why she was so sensitive.

The guilt in the pit of his stomach became nearly unbearable then. That night- after that horrible fight, he hadn't even called afterwords. They'd been to drunk on pride and on themselves that it was themselves that wrecked their relationship, not physical obstacles.

Ian slowed as they came to a red light and looked at Lucy, trying to read her facial expressions. He wasn't sure what to say, but he decided that like Ayva, he wanted to let her come to him. If she really did still care about him, she would find her way back. And if not, then at least they could find some sort of understanding.

Ian brushed his fingers over her hand and parted his lips. He couldn't think of any words to say, so instead he just gripped her fingers tighter.

He never wanted to let go.

**Boom.  
I would first of all like to point out that the whole swan fiasco was something that happened to me as a child. Yes, it stole my mitten and my bread, as well as my dignity.  
Thanks a million to Kate (sleepoversat3B) for everything with this chapter. She's amazing. Check her out.  
Thanks to my friends on twitter who help me and support me. You know who you are.  
AND THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! They are so sweet, and they make me want to write. So updates come with feedback!  
Love you all and thanks again! See you next update folks!  
(Ps I really hate swans, if you couldn't already tell.)**


	6. Chapter 6 : Dazzling

_Chapter 6_

_They have no idea what it's like to seek safety in other people._

Ian's week hadn't been pretty.

The chaos of his work schedule, mixed with his new lifestyle as a father was wearing him down. When he wasn't at a meeting, or going over the script, or rehearsing, or doing interviews he was busy spending time with Lucy and Ayva. Going to bed at 2 a.m. every night really messed one up, and wasn't sure if he could life without a schedule much longer.

On Wednesday, Ian had decided it was time to start sharing the news with his family. And boy, had that been a roller coaster.

His mother hadn't been upset, though she'd been a little more than startled to find out that she _was_ a grandmother, as opposed to _going to be_ a grandmother. She wanted more than anything to get to know her little granddaughter as soon as possible, and had made an oath to fly out in a few weeks to meet them. In regards to the baby being Lucy's, Mrs. Harding had been- almost _relieved_. She had always adored Lucy, and had even passed a comment during that phone call that had made Ian think.

"If she's Lucy's, than at least I know that little girl was made from a loving relationship."

Ian wasn't really in favour of talking about Ayva's conceiving with his mother, but she did have a point. Ayva had been conceived while they were together, before the fight. Back in the days when he swore they'd be together forever. Ayva was made out of love, and that was something he was thankful for.

His father the other hand, hadn't taken the news so well. The older man hadn't been pleased to find out that his son's first child was already two years old, and was mildly upset with Ian for allowing it to happen. His father wasn't impressed by Ian's "moving forward together" tactic, but the man also wasn't aware of how Lucy and Ian had split. Honestly, no one really knew besides Lucy, Ian and the closest friends of the two.

As tired as he was, Ian was also glad that the difficult task was finished. His family meant the world to him, obviously, but they had a pesky tendency to be rather opinionated. At least his mother was content with the news.

The following Tuesday, Ian let himself into his apartment after a long morning of meetings. It was just after lunch time, and he figured that it was the perfect opportunity to catch a quick nap in compensation for the hectic week. He stripped down to his boxer briefs and climbed into bed, letting out a loud sigh of contentment. As soon as his eyelids shut, the phone chimed throughout his apartment.

He sighed and climbed out of bed, pacing across the apartment to where his iPhone was ringing on the kitchen counter. A small smile graced his lips as a picture of Lucy and Ayva glowed on the call screen.

"Hello?"

Lucy was on the other end, sounding frazzled and sheepish. She stammered as she spoke, unsure of how to word what she was trying to say.

_"Um, hey Ian."_ Her voice said softly on the other end. _"Are you busy?_"

Ian leaned against the counter, running a hand through his curly hair. "Nope, I'm not doing anything."

Lucy went onto explain that she was in a pickle. Jackson Harris, a country singer and good friend of Lucy's had asked her to star in his music video for the second time. The offer had been rather quick indeed, but Lucy had felt obligated to agree. However, when she arrived on set that day the producers had decided that one of the scenes needed to be shot at night, and Lucy was going to be needed until late.

_"Would you be able to pick of Ayva from her babysitters?"_ Lucy asked softly, and it made him sad that she felt bad about asking.

"Of course I can. You know that, Luce."

He heard her sigh on the other end of the line.

_"Thank you."_ Lucy paused for a second. _"She has pre ballet tonight, so if she asks you about it just tell her it's cancelled."_

"Why would I do that?" Ian asked. "I can take her to ballet, it's no big deal."

_"I can't ask you to do all that."_

"I'm her father, it's my job to do all that."

Lucy sighed again before finally agreeing. She gave him directions for the babysitter's, the dance studio and a number of instructions. She promised to be home by ten.

After a nice lunch and short nap, Ian decided to go pick up Ayva. He tidied himself up and dressed, sliding on a beanie and a pair of sunglasses. Next, he hopped into his car and plugged the directions to the babysitter's into his GPS.

The short ride brought him to a beautiful Brownstone house, which was well groomed and very welcoming. He noticed that even the outside had been converted into a daycare-like environment.

Behind the front door was a small waiting area, and all around the open concept layout was a fully functioning daycare. Safety gates and fingerprintings hung everywhere, as well as brightly coloured furniture. A sign onto the wall adjacent to him read, "The Learning Loft".

A woman emerged from the where the kitchen sat in the back, a smile on her face and a rag in her hands. She was slicing apples.

"Hello there," she greeted Ian, tossing the rag over her shoulder. Her name tag said Diana. "What can we do for you?"

Ian took off his sunglasses and smiled back, extending his hand. She was a little shocked to see that the Ian Harding sat under those shades, but at the same time, she didn't overreact.

"Hi, I'm here to pick up Ayva," he heard small voices coming from below him. There was more than likely a playroom downstairs.

The woman's face fell slightly, and she tucked a blond flyaway behind her ear. Her green eyes filled with a sort of sympathetic look.

"Are you a friend of Lucy's?" She asked.

"Yeah,"

Diana nodded and turned towards a desk to the right, and began flipping through a big, leather-bound book.

"What's your name, sir?" He assumed she _had_ to ask, even though she already knew the answer.

"Ian Harding."

After a few moments, Diana looked up sadly from the book and turned to him. "I'm sorry, but you aren't listed as one of Ayva's contacts. Unless Lucy were to give us a notice, we can't let her go with you."

Ian felt as though someone had punched him in the chest. They were keeping him from his daughter because he legally wasn't her guardian. And how could Lucy have forgotten to mention that Ayva had a new contact? He felt an anger burning in his stomach.

"No, you don't understand. Ayva is my daughter, and her mom can't pick her up today." His brow began to glisten with sweat. "I have to bring her to ballet."

"I'm sorry Ian, but it's against the policy to let a child go with a stranger without prior knowledge."

Ian's nostrils flared. "I'm not some stranger, I'm her father!"

Diana sighed. "Does Ayva know her mother isn't coming today?" The woman asked.

"No, something came up at work and she needed me to get her."

Diana sighed. "I'm really sorry, but I can't help you unless I speak with Lucy."

Ian bit his lip. "She's on set, but I'll try and get ahold of her."

He stepped outside the daycare, his eyes tingling with the desire to cry. It just didn't seem fair that they were allowed to say he couldn't take his own child home. Angrily, he reached into his back pocket and dialled Lucy's cell.

The first call hadn't worked, due to the fact that she was probably filming. It was almost five o'clock now, and if she didn't hurry and pick up, Ayva wouldn't be able to leave the babysitter. He called two more times, only to hear the hum of the dial tone and Lucy's cheery voicemail.

Ian entered the daycare again, and this time was pleased to see that all the little children were now in the living room, colouring on the floor as they waited for their parents. A little girl with bouncy red curls hopped up and ran towards the woman beside Ian, and the woman scooped her up.

"Hi, Katie," the woman said to her daughter.

Ian glanced over the group of children, eyes finally landing on Ayva, who was playing with a little blond boy.

Diana came over to the pair of them, looking at Ian. "Did you get a hold of Lucy?"

"No, she's filming."

"Inan!"

A high pitched little voice came out of the group, and Ian's eyes found Ayva as she took off for him. She wrapped her little arms around his legs and giggled.

"Hey, Ayva bean,"

The little girl cuddled into him as he scooped her up. "Is Momma at work?"

"Yes, dolly, she's working."

Ayva turned to Diana then, smiling proudly. "This is my Inan," she announced proudly. "Am I going wiff you, Inan?"

"Yes, you are," Diana told her, smiling at Ian. "You can take her. I'm sure she wouldn't call just anyone "my Inan." Just have Lucy give me a call when she can, alright?"

Ian released a huge breath, thanking Diana. He took Ayva's bag, and the two of them headed out go home.

They went back to Ian's apartment, and Ayva hurried on into the living room. She had been there a few times in the past week, and a few of her stuffed animals and soothers were already cluttering the tables and chairs. Ian loved it though; knowing the things he walked on belonged to his tiny family and not just him. The little domestic things were what he loved most about having his girls around.

And yes, he'd been mentally referring to them as _his girls._

Ayva dragged her day bag into the living room and sat it down onto the coffee table.

"We're going to have to get ready for dance now, okay?" Ian said, but and Ayva eagerly nodded her head.

Her outfit was already in her bag and Ian dressed her quickly, following step-by-step what Lucy had done the day they'd gone to see the ducks. She looked adorable in her tights and purple tutu. Ayva twirled around, making the skirt bounce.

They had another ten minutes before they had to leave, so Ian sat down on the couch to rest his tired feet a little. Ayva climbed up beside him, snuggling into his side. Her binky bobbed in her mouth.

To keep Ayva occupied, Ian pulled his iPhone out of his pocket to show her a game. But Ayva, being as observant as she was, noticed the home screen wallpaper before Candy Crush could even load.

"Dats me and my Momma," she said, looking at the picture. "Why is we on your screen?" Her huge blue eyes were so innocent and adorable.

"Because I love you, pumpkin," Ian answered, kissing the top of her head softly.

"And you love my Momma?"

Ian almost choked.

"_What?"_

Ayva watched him carefully, though didn't say anything besides, "My momma."

Ian sighed, knowing this whole situation was probably very confusing to her. But as he thought about it, he hadn't wanted to make his screen saver just Ayva. He wanted it to be of them both, because Lucy smiling was one of his favourite things. He turned to Ayva and smiled.

"Yes, I love you and your Momma very much."

Ayva's pre ballet class was a breeze. It was an hour of getting to watch her prance the around the studio to the tinkerbell soundtrack, the adorable dimpled grin on her face never leaving once. Ian had been a dancer as a child, and he could help but feel pride for his daughter's enjoyment in it, even if it was just only pre ballet. As he waited outside, another lady started a conversation with him.

"Ayva is just adorable," she gushed, chuckling as Ayva fell flat onto her bottom and laughed.

"Thanks," Ian smirked as the little girl got up and continued running around.

"You're her.." The woman began.

"I'm Ayva's-" he wasn't sure if he should say the word father to some stranger, because the news hadn't even reached Ayva yet.

"I'm Lucy's-"_ what was he to Lucy?_

"I'm Ian." He settled, shrugging his shoulders. He reached out his hand and the lady shook it.

The lady smiled. "I'm June, Marley's mother."

They exchanged a light conversation before Ian saw the group of children coming towards the door. When Ayva came out, he scooped her up and spun her slightly, be forcing resting her on his hip.

"Bye Mawley!" She called to the little girl Marley. "Dis is my Inan and he loves me and my Momma."

Ian's cheeks reddened as he stole a glimpse at Marley's mother. The lady smirked.

"I guess you aren't just Ian after all," she mumbled before they departed.

Ayva only smiled at him innocently, and then asked him for her binky.

They the father and daughter hit a McDonalds for dinner. Ian really was trying to watch his diet, but couldn't resist the temptation of a chicken nugget Combo. Six chicken nuggets and a Happy Meal later, they got back to Ian's, and he picked a Barbie movie on Netflix for them to watch while they waited for Lucy.

However, soon after nine o'clock, both Ayva and Ian were sound asleep on the couch, cuddled together.

With the key Ian had given her, Lucy let herself into Ian's apartment around midnight. She was slightly irritated at the director of the music video, for having the shoot so disorganized and from taking so long to finish it. She had seen the three missed calls, and was anxious to get home to her child _and_ to Ian.

A soft laugh left her chest when she found them, the credits to the Barbie movie still rolling. She watched them peacefully for a few moments, before nudging Ian's arm. He awoke with a start, demanding no one in particular for the time.

"Hey," he said once he had his bearings. "When did you get off?"

"A little while ago. Sorry I was so late, the director was young and had no experience."

"It's fine," he said, glancing down at a sleeping Ayva. He had enjoyed their night together; every minute of it. "You need to call the babysitter."

Lucy paled, and tried to explain everything at once. How she had totally forgotten to let her know, how adding him as a contact had slipped her mind. But Ian only silenced her with a wave of a hand, not in the mood to be unhappy. He was too comfy and too relaxed.

"Thank you for everything." She said sincerely, resting a hand on his shoulder. Her feather-light touch felt like a burst of sparks throughout his body. "I'll take her home now."

"No," Ian interrupted almost too quickly. "Don't wake her, she's too comfy."

"I don't want to leave her Ian,"

"Then stay the night."

Lucy bit her lip, and Ian realized that it was a sort of awkward situation to put her in. But he didn't have the heart to wake Ayva, she looked too peaceful.

"Well, I guess that would be okay." She said, and Ian couldn't hide the smile that spread on his face. He wouldn't have to say goodbye that night, and that made him very, very happy.

After settling Ayva away, Ian handed Lucy a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts to wear to bed. She looked at them, her expression almost sad. It had been a long time since she'd worn his clothes last.

Ian got ready for bed in the on suite, while she changed in the hall bathroom. There was a tension lingering around them again, and he felt disappointed. Over the past week, things had been good. No arguments, no tears, no rejection. Just when he thought things were on th mend, the awkward came back. The aching in his chest he'd felt when they'd first split was back, and he realized that above all else, he just wanted his Lucy back.

But he also knew that getting his Lucy back probably wasn't going to happen.

Ian crawled onto his huge king sized bed, sitting on the edge to slide out of his jeans. It felt weird, seeing as he was getting in bed with his ex in a t-shirt and his underwear. But he also knew that she wasn't just his ex, no matter what the standpoint was.

If it had been a while back, they would have slid under the sheets and tangled together, fingers interlocked with her head against his heartbeat. If it had been earlier, it wouldn't have felt strange to be in bed together. This was foreign. He didn't know how not to grab Lucy and hug her close to him. She was only about a foot away from him, but yet still, it felt like she was a million miles away. He decided to just give up for the night, so Ian murmured a soft goodnight to her and tried to fall asleep.

Lucy rolled onto her side and looked him over, trying as hard as she could to be inconspicuous. He looked _really_ good. That soft white t-shirt hugged his toned body perfectly. His hair had just the right amount of tousle and there was a perfect layer of stubble covering his jaw. Lucy had been trying to avoid succumbing to the longing she'd had for him, and so far she'd been doing well. But right here, laying beside him, she wanted him so much that it was giving her a stomach ache.

Apprehensively, Lucy inched her way only a little closer to his warm form, her eyes never leaving his face. He appeared to be asleep, but she couldn't be sure.

Inch by inch, she wormed her way towards him, feeling a tingling in her stomach as she drew nearer. The closer she got, the more she missed him- his smell, his taste, his warmth. She missed the way his safe arms would cradle her, the way he'd kiss her forehead, the way he could never seem to get close enough to her. She missed the way he produced the words "I love you," and she missed the intensity in his eyes when he'd say it to her.

Finally she gave up the resistance and curled into his side, not exactly in a position that you'd call snuggling, but enough so that her head was pressed against his shoulder and her hand was on his chest. She knew she was pushing her boundaries, but she needed to be close to him so much that she couldn't have stopped herself if she'd tried.

She opened her eyes again, permitting herself one last glance at his face before she fell asleep. However, to her horror, Ian wasn't in fact asleep; he was wide awake and staring straight at her.

Lucy jumped off of him as if she were on springs, and Ian winced slightly at the sting of rejection. Her cheeks were burning red and she looked more nervous that he had ever seen her before.

She was making a decision, and the burden of it was almost unreal.

"I'm sorry, Ian." Lucy mumbled, sitting up. She wouldn't meet his eyes, and Ian watched in despair as she climbed over to get out of the bed. "This was a bad idea, I'm just going to take Ayva and go-"

Her words were silenced as he forcefully, yet gently grasped her hand in his own. He sat up and looked her directly in the eyes, a burning desire in his navy eyes. She felt her mouth run dry.

"Please don't go," he whispered, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

Lucy debated the options for a moment, and for an instant her saw her eyes flicker to his lips. Her breathing was heavier than normally, her chest moving up and down.

"Stay," he begged her, his warm fingers slowly inching their way up her forearm. He felt goosebumps rise beneath the pads of his fingertips. Their eyes met again, and this time, Ian's heart began to speed.

Lucy's hand gently met the skin of his cheek, and she touched him in a way as if to make sure he was real. When he didn't flinch, her hand dropped slightly, and she let her fingers gently brush down his t-shirt clad chest.

His body flexed beneath her touch, and the pure wanton- it was hot in the air, heavy and almost palpable.

The second her gaze returned to his, Ian lost control, and one of his hands instantaneously knotted into her silly, dark hair. His mouth found hers all of a sudden, and an explosion of pure, unadulterated bliss exploded around them.

As soon as their lips met, it was as if a siren went off in his head and he immediately stopped kissing her. He pulled back slightly, an apology in his eyes. How could he lose all of his self control like that?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He whispered while stilling holding onto her hand.

Lucy looked at him for another moment or so, a familiar expression crossing his eyes. Instead of cowering away in rejection, or getting upset with him, she merely raised one of her perfect eyebrows and said back, "And I shouldn't do this."

One of her small hands grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt, the other weaving into his curls and she tugged him forward, melding her lips against his. Their mouths moved together, the kiss a hungry combination of lips and tongue and teeth. Ian's arm slid down her back and around her body, pressing her abdomen against his as he sucked lightly on her bottom lip, too wound up and too unbelievably enthralled to be aware of his surroundings.

She scratched her nails down the base of his neck, feeling his body shudder. He squeezed her waist, sliding his hand beneath the t-shirt she was wearing and pressed his fingers against the small of her back. She bit down on his lip and pulled him even closer to her, kissing from as hard as she possibly could, starving for him after three full years of missing him.

Ian broke away then, knowing that they had to stop before they did something they weren't ready for. H exhaled, hugging her body even tighter against him. He felt her squirm until she was pressed against her chest, hands locked around his torso. He held her like that for a little while, wrapped in a perfect embrace.

"I missed you," Lucy whispered, and he realized she was crying again.

"I missed you too," his lips met her head, and he rocked her slightly in his arms. They held each other like that for who knows how long, all of that tension and longing and desire slowly melting into peace. "So, _so_ much."

This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. They were never supposed to have split. To have found each other again through chance. They weren't supposed to be just now becoming a family- it was something that was supposed to have happened from the start. He was supposed to have been there holding her hand the day Ayva was born. Lucy was the only one for him, and he should have went after her before she got away.

Ian had been more than wrong about everything.

Three years hadn't given them time to fall out of love with each other. In that three years, Ian and Lucy had realized on their own just how much they needed each other. And who knows? Maybe this was the road to recovery.

Because Ayva had been right. He did love her Momma very much.

**YAY!**

**Sorry for the wait, I just had I lot of school. I had so much fun writing this, and thanks to Emmalee for being patient when it came to my indecisiveness. I hope you all enjoyed this.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews! It makes good things happen, so keep them coming! And I'll update soon, I promise :)**

**Xo, Emily**

**Oh and thank you to Meaghann. Without her um, ****_persistence_****, this chapter probably wouldn't be finished yet, haha! See you soon! **


	7. Chapter 7 : Delight

_Chapter 7_  
_You want your freedom, well who am I to keep you down?_

They shifted beneath the blankets until they were close together, not into a position you would classify as snuggling- they still weren't in that place yet.

Her head was a few inches from his, their bodies sideways and facing each other. He was gripping her hand between them like a lifeline; that one small taste of her enough to make him realize he wouldn't make it through losing her again. They stayed like that for who knows how long, just wrapped in silence and comfort and the feeling of a final redemption.

Lucy's hazel eyes absorbed all the aspects of his lightly shaven face, drinking in all the tiny details she'd missed for too long. His thumb traced lazy circles around her palm, his eyes swimming with the memories what used to be. It was a feeling that he hadn't felt too long.

"We have to figure all this out," he whispered finally, breaking the easy silence. He pulled her towards him slightly, gripping her wrists as the topic of what they were made him nervous. "Because I want this to be real- not just impulsive."

She savored the feeling of this baby-soft lips brushing against her forehead, his hand running down her arm protectively. This feeling of being loved had been all too foreign for her in the past three years. For a brief period of time, she was convinced she wouldn't feel it again.

"I want this to last," Lucy whispered, biting her lip. "Ian, I can't go any longer without you like this."

He shivered at her words, savoring the feeling of finally having everything he never knew he always needed.

"You won't have to. I'm going to be here for you, always."

She fingered nervously at the soft collar of his t-shirt, and he realized that is where Ayva must have gotten her quirky habit.

"But- I just," The insecurity and her voice was almost palpable. "Is this even what you want?"

Ian furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"Why would you even still want me? I hid your own child from you-"

"Shh," he smoothed a hand over her hair. "We're past that now, remember?"

Ian decided that staying in safe territory wasn't an option when she needed to be comforted. He wrapped an arm around her, and squeezed her small body. She felt skinnier than he remembered, but only as if she'd lost muscle tissue. Either way, Ian missed holding her more than anything else.

"But you're successful, and mega famous, and you have a career on the line- how could I expect for you to commit to fatherhood and to me?"

"Is that really what you think? That I wouldn't want to do that?" He felt slightly hurt at the thought that she could think so lowly of him.

Lucy didn't answer. Instead she said, voice barely a whisper, "I saw the pictures of you and Sophia."

Ian closed his eyes, wishing that his only attempt at moving on from Lucy had been with someone else. Why he'd gone back to her, he wasn't even sure, but at the time Sophia seemed like the only thing left for him to love.

And so, in an attempt of distraction from Lucy, he'd dated her. It wasn't a committed relationship, nor was it anything he'd even considered to be the slightest bit serious, but the pictures of them at Coachella had been incriminating. Smiling widely, sharing a chocolate chip gelato-

"That was absolutely nothing," he promised, trying to coax her out of the doubt. "That relationship lasted eight months, and then was on and off for another six before she finally left me. Sophia wanted someone who was willing to commit to her. I don't even think I was upset when she left me."

Lucy closed her eyes, trying to force herself to relax. It didn't work, her limbs were still stiff with tensity. "You don't even understand what it felt like, seeing you in that picture with her."

Ian couldn't help but half-snort. "Oh really? I suffered through watching you with Alex, Chris, Graham, Chris again, and friggin Ryan Guzman before I finally got to have you."

She tensed at the word Chris.

He noticed.

"Lucy,"

He felt when she shyly nuzzled her face into his T-shirt, realizing that this was a very sensitive topic for her. Her first break up with Chris was one thing, the second time another mess, and he just couldn't stand the thought of her dating him the third time- even though he knew this was the direction the conversation was moving in.

"I went to a party with a couple of friends in New York for the first time since Ayva had been born. Regardless of how ironic it seems, he was there, and we kind of got talking. I was lonely, and he was being nice to me- and I had a few drinks in my system. We hooked up for the night. Nothing really else happened, but just when I thought I finally had someone who liked me for me again, even if it was Chris, I told him about Ayva and he left me right on the spot. I guess some people never change, hey?"

He ignored her attempt to make the conversation lighter.

"You should never have let him treat you like that, not even first time you dated him."

He knew she had a habit of going back to guys that weren't good for her, and it killed him that he was the one that drove her into Chris's arms again. He swore that if he ever got his hands on that boy-

"I saw different people, but there was no one but I really, honestly liked." She continued. "The last person I dated, his name is Brad, and I swear he is one of the kindest people you'll ever meet. He was great with Ayva, great with kids, had a good job, was levelheaded- but I just couldn't make my self fall in love with him."

Ian sighed, envious of this Brad guy.

"Why couldn't you?" Ian mumbled.

He squeezed her a little harder, terrified this time to let her go at all. His hand snuck beneath the back of the T-shirt that she was wearing, and he ran his hands along smooth plains of the small of her back. She shuddered.

"Because I didn't think it was fair to tell him I loved him, when all he was was a replacement for you."

Ian completely melted at her words, feeling more in love with her than he had ever felt for anything or anyone in any moment. He leaned his head down and kissed her in a way that was both firm, but soft; a sealed promise that he was hers and that that was the way was going to stay for a really long time. His hands traced under her shirt, along her sides and her back and her stomach, the affectionate gestures enough to lull them both to sleep. Sleeping in a bed together had always been a pretzel-like ritual for them, and as Lucy had said earlier, some things never changed, did they?

Ian's eyes popped open the next morning, to the sound of wailing toddler coming from the other room. His distress was followed by a brief sense of euphoria as he breathed in the scent of Lucy's hair, reveling in the feeling of her body snuggled right next to his. He gently released his arms from around her and got up out of bed as quietly as he could, to see to Ayva. The poor child was probably terrified, not knowing where she was.

Her crying stopped slightly as his footsteps echoed down the hallway, and he found her sitting up on the couch and squeezing her teddy bear as hard as she could. Her pacifier bobbed in her mouth, the second in her hand as she flicked its handle. Big, pitiful tears rolled down her cheeks. Her hair was just as disheveled as Ian's normally was.

"Where is my Momma?" Ayva asked him, trying to catch her breath as he sat down beside her. She squirmed until he pulled her into his lap, wiping away the tears on her cheeks.

"Momma is sleeping right now, okay?" He rubbed her back slightly until her breathing had evened out, and all remnants of her crying had vanished. She snuggled into her father, reaching for the nonexistent buttons on his shirt to play with. She whimpered when she didn't find any and looked up at him, big blue eyes wide.

"Why aw we seeping at your house?" She asked.

He tried his best to explain last night's situation to her, but Ayva lost interest within the first 30 seconds of the explanation. She hopped off of his lap and scurried into the kitchen, standing up in front of the counter. Still dressed in her dance outfit from yesterday, Ayva realized her outfit and then sized up Ian's. Then, she started laughing.

"What's so funny?" He asked her, pulling open the fridge to see if there was any milk left. Ayva kept laughing at him.

"You aw in your underwear," she chortled, as if it were the most hilarious thing in the world. Ian looked down and realized that he was in fact wearing his boxer briefs, and couldn't help but laugh along with her. He hadn't realized he wasn't home alone anymore.

"How about we make momma some breakfast?" Ian suggested as Ayva toddled over to him. He scooped her up and rested her on his hip, pulling out eggs, milk, cheese and peppers from the fridge. Ayva nodded profusely in approval of the idea.

They made the omelet and toast together, Ayva occaisionally helping out by stirring in the right amount of milk, or picking out the color of pepper to put in her mothers omelet. Ian spread Nutella over the toast, filled one small sippy-cup with milk, perked the coffee and then arranged the tray.

"How does it look, Ayva bean?" Ian asked, and the little girl's eyebrows furrowed in the weight of the decision. Finally, she nodded.

"But you forgot the apples, Inan," she told him, blue eyes filled with alarm."Momma always have apples wiff her breakfast."

Ian tapped her lovingly on the nose before kissing her forehead. "What would I do without you, pumpkin?"

Ian's attempt to wake Lucy up quietly quickly failed as Ayva barrelled into the bedroom. The two-year-old climbed up onto the bed and on top of her mother, pulling strands of hair away from her face. She gently kissed Lucy's cheek while whispering in the most adorable way, "Wake up, Momma!"

Lucy groaned and opened her eyes, smiling at the sight of her adorable little daughter waking her up in the cutest of ways. She sat up, stretching slightly, and asked what time was.

"Momma we maked you breakfast!" The little girl announced triumphantly as she sat beside Lucy, folding her hands in her lap as she waited for Ian to come in with the tray. Balancing it as carefully as he could, Ian maneuvered himself onto the bed with the tray of toast and omelets.

Lucy looked ecstatic, and then bent down to kiss her daughter on the head.

"Thank you baby," she exclaimed enthusiastically, then turned to Ian. "And thank you." She wanted to kiss him more than anything else.

Ian merely grinned and crawled into his spacious bed beside her, before the three of them began to eat their breakfast. Ian eyed Ayva, who was busy eating her toast and watching the TV mounted on the wall, then snuck his arm around Lucy's waist and kissed her cheek.

"Did you sleep well?" He whispered playfully, watching as she bit her lip at his affection. "Because I did."

Lucy turned her head, leaning into him. Her soft lips touched his ear. "I've always slept better in your bed."

Ian gulped.

She took a bite of her omelet and sighed, a wordless praise to his cooking. Ian took the chance to drink in her appearance that morning. Her hair was down and hanging to the small of her back, and even without make up she was still the prettiest woman he'd ever laid eyes on.

Lucy caught him staring at her through her peripheral vision and instantly blushed. He'd always done that; stared her when he thought she couldn't see him. She wasn't sure if she loved it, or if she feared it- because she'd always had a fear that she wasn't pretty enough for him. It wasn't that Ian made her feel judged, but she'd always seen him beneath a theoretical spotlight, and thought that he deserved so much better than her.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a loud cry, and turned to find Ayva sobbing. Her toast was lying facedown on the green bedsheets, half eaten. Crumbs were scattered and Ayva's face was covered in Nutella.

"Momma I dropped my toast!" She cried, bottom lip wobbling. "I never meaned to make a mess Inan."

Ian's eyes bugged out at Lucy and Ayva's reaction, and he quickly raced to Ayva's side to console her. He picked up the toast and laid the gooey mess onto the plate, then looked at the chocolate stain on his bed sheet. Lucy began mumbling a string of apologies, reaching for a napkin, but Ian shushed the both of them.

"It's perfectly okay," he reassured the toddler, kissing her head to prove it. He held is hand out to stop Lucy's probing wrist that was determined to clean up the chocolate.

"I think we should worry about the toast first, right Ayva?" Ian said pleasantly, standing up again. "Come on you little munchkin, let's go make more."

Lucy watched as Ian piggy-backed his little girl out into the kitchen, both of them smiling and laughing and having fun. Ian and Ayva shared a very special bond, and a part of her would never truly be able to forgive herself for giving him the cold shoulder so long. He was supposed to have been there from the beginning.

But looking back, their relationship had been filled with sacrifices and dysfunction. Perhaps if they were to have stayed together during Ayva's upbringing from the start, it was a possibility that their relationship would have crumbled from the foundation. Right now, they were in a good place again, and she couldn't wait to see what this new fate had in store for the three of them.

They were finally a family again.

**So my lovely readers, I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for the 21 reviews I got last chapter. I may have cried. Maybe.  
Anyhow, I thought you wonderful people deserved a fluffy chapter. So here it is. I was giddy writing this, the whole entire time. I hope you enjoyed!  
Oh and I don't know if Lucy was with Chris again, and I know she wasn't with Ryan, I just like me some tortured Lucian. So I made it up.  
And that's it! See you next update! Pleeeeeease review!**  
**Xo, Emily**.


	8. Chapter 8 : Dark

_Chapter 8_  
_All great changes are preceded with chaos._

A few days passed in which things both progressed and stayed the same; Lucy and Ian putting their primary focus on Ayva, and their secondary on their newfound relationship. They'd developed a slight routine over the past few days, in the daytime, after Ayva would be picked up from the babysitters, they would spend time as a family. Ice cream, walks in the park, trips to the playground- all of those activities had been keeping Ayva busy and distracted. She remained oblivious to the blossoming relationship that her parents were falling into.

Lucy and Ian on the other hand, were in a silent agreement to keep things moving slow. They knew the risks of plunging into speedy relationship, and didn't want to jeopardize the happiness they'd found. There wasn't much besides handholding- the occasional kiss here and there. But none of the affection was in front of Ayva. The after 8 o'clock date nights were modest, watching movies, running lines, even playing scrabble occasionally. But nothing had escalated so far- and the sexual tension was driving them both insane.

Ian started filming his new film in exactly two weeks. Lucy wasn't exactly thrilled, as she had begun to love having him around almost always, but at the same time, she knew acting disappointed was both selfish and wrong. She assumed that her jealousy was stemming from the fact he was starting in an action film- a movie in which he wouldn't be wearing a shirt for the majority of the scenes. It was just that, she'd just gotten him back, and wasn't ready to share him with the world again.

There had been a difference in his appetite and workout schedule as well. His spare time have been devoted to working out with his personal trainer, and he hadn't been eating any junk food. At all. The product was a very muscular stature- one that resembled a Greek god, dramatic as it seemed.

It wasn't hard to tell how quickly she was falling for him again.

Ayva sat in the bathtub, squeaking her favorite rubber ducky as Lucy lathered soap into her daughter's thick, dark tresses. She giggled as she played with it, before hugging the duck to her chest.

"You love your ducky, don't you baby?" Lucy said, smiling at her adorable little girl.

Ayva smiled, nodding. She grimaced at Lucy rinsed her hair, hating the water on her face. Once Ayva's hair was clean, Lucy dried off her hands to let her play for a few minutes.

"You know, Christmas is going to be here soon," Lucy murmured, watching Ayva play in the soapy bathwater.

"Diana say that there's only 21 days until Chwistmas." Ayva said proudly, and Lucy smiled at the fact that her little daughter was able to remember the fact.

"And you know who's coming?"

Ayva beamed and clenched her duck excitedly. "Santa!"

Lucy pressed a kiss against Ayva's nose. "That's right, pookie. What do you want Santa to bring you this year?"

Ayva froze and furrowed her little eyebrows in thought. It took a few minutes for her to respond, and Lucy giggled softly at the consideration Ayva took in answering. But the little girl's answer startled her.

"I want a daddy like Inan for Christmas."

Lucy felt her heart stop for a moment. She looked at her daughter with glossy eyes- could it have been that she was already noticing her lack of a father? And the fact that she had said "a daddy like Ian" terrified her. Ian was the best father she could've ever imagined Ayva to have, and the fact that she didn't even know it really was her daddy made her very, very sad.

"I think that a daddy would be a lot to ask for," Lucy said, swallowing away the lump in her throat. "That's a really big gift."

Ayva's bottom lip jutted out. "But everybody at daycare have a daddy," she said softly. "And he have to be like Inan. Inan can show him!"

And it all made perfect sense to the toddler. Ian could teach another man how to be just like him, only this time that man could be her daddy. Lucy had avoided the truth for far too long. As long as they kept Ian from being her dad the harder it would be for Ayva to understand the long run.

"Maybe you should ask Santa for something different," Lucy said, ending the conversation. She scooped Ayva up from out of the bath and wrapped her in a pig-hooded towel, nuzzling her face into her daughters hair. It was an attempt to both shield her tears from the two-year-old and to comfort her. There were very rare times Lucy told Ayva no, mainly because Ayva didn't ask for anything. But this was something that she had to make sure that both Ayva and Ian were ready for.

Ian had pre-film meetings all day, and therefore wasn't able to make it to Lucy's by Ayva's bedtime. He'd spent fifteen minutes on the phone with her instead, trying to read a Dr. Seuss story off of his iPhone for her bedtime book. In compensation, he had promised his child that they could read two stories the next night, and that he would get off work early as well. Ayva was not a hard child to please.

Nine o'clock he entered her apartment, quietly calling to see where Lucy was. He found her curled up on the corner of the couch, nervously biting her nails and chomping on popcorn. She seemed very distracted, and he knew right off the bat that something was on her mind.  
He made his way out into the living room, greeting her with a gentle kiss to the forehead.

"Hi babe," he greeted, sitting beside her. Ian had missed her all day, and had missed Ayva as well. She stared longingly towards her bucket of stuffed animals, the only on missing was her brown bear that Ian had gotten her. She wouldn't go to sleep without it. "How was your day?"

"Fine," in seriousness, five hours at the studio with having no luck in writing any kind of song had not left her with a great day. Not to mention the very upsetting conversation she'd had with Ayva. To be completely honest, today had sucked, and to top it all off, she had to ruin his.

Ian opened his arms for Lucy, waiting for her to reciprocate the gesture and hug him back. She fell into his grasp, and Ian nuzzled his face into the sweet-smelling tresses of her hair. However, her body was stiff in his arms and he turned her face to look at him.

"What's wrong, Goose?"

Lucy opened her mouth for a moment, but then snapped it shut, realizing that this argument could wait until later. Ian had had a long day in meetings, and she didn't want to spoil his hard-earned break.

"Nothing," she lied, forcing a smile. "Nothing's wrong."

To distract him, she buried her head in the crook of his neck, hugging him tighter this time. But Ian wasn't buying it.

"No, there is something wrong with you. I can tell."

She looked at him for a moment, beautiful eyes filling up with tears. Ian's own eyes widened in shock and he clutched her even tighter, hating to see her cry.

"Just tell me, Luce."

Lucy wiped her eyes, smearing the small amount of eye makeup she was wearing. She let out a shaky breath before spilling what was on her mind.

"I was giving Ayva a bath today, and I asked her what she wanted for Christmas. I expected her to ask for some kind of stuffed animal or princess dress, but she looked at me and told me that all she wanted for Christmas was a daddy like Ian." Lucy's bottom lip popped out, and she struggled to hold back another wave of tears.

Ian's heart both swelled and dropped at once. He was elated that she wanted someone just like him to be her daddy, but he also felt rejected- he wasn't her father, at least not through Ayva's eyes. He let out a small breath, temporarily forgetting how upset Lucy had become in the last few seconds.

"She doesn't understand that you're her daddy because I kept her from you for so long," Lucy continued, looking more and more disgusted with herself with every word she spoke. "I'm the reason that you had to go through so much. I'm the reason my daughter's only two years old and is already wondering why she doesn't have a father like everyone else. I'm the reason you're giving up so much for us, and what's worst, is that you look at me and not think I've done anything wrong.

"I've been nothing but selfish, and have made nothing but mistakes since the day that I ended things with you. I don't like the fact that you forgave me so easily, because I know I wronged you. I'm not looking for pity, and I'm not looking for sympathy, but what I'm looking for is to make things right. I want Ayva to know you're her father."

Ian let her finish speaking, knowing that if he tried to just silence her and make her feel better, it would only upset her more. He kept brushing his lips against her forehead, the words she spoke more painful for him to listen to then for her to speak. He truly and honestly did forgive her. In fact, in some cases he kind of blamed himself for the situation. But he also knew that she was struggling and that this was much too difficult for the both of them.

Perhaps it _was_ time for Ayva to start calling him daddy. It was what Ian wanted, and it was apparently what Lucy wanted too.

And they both knew that their little girl, with the pacifiers and the tutu skirts, wanted nothing more than for Ian to officially be her dad.

"I know it's not what you want to hear, but I truly do forgive you." Ian said, intertwining their fingers together. "We split up too promptly, without any discussion, and it just had awful repercussions. I could be the guy that holds a grudge forever, but that would be useless because deep down, I love you very, very much," her breath caught at the words "I love you", "And I want us to repair whatever we had before." His face was an inch from hers, their lips kissing distance- she could feel his breath on her face.

"Of course I want Ayva to know me as daddy, but I want it to be when she's ready. It's probably extremely confusing for her- I know it has to be. But I love her, and I love you, and I want us to be a family. Let's just put the past behind us, stop beating yourself up for everything that happened." His hand lightly cupped the back of her head, fingers weaving into her soft brunette hair. "Let's just start all over again, okay?"

She was frozen. Tranced by his beautiful blue eyes.

Lucy gave him a mesmerized, blank nod. "Okay,"

Every fear, every doubt, and every insecurity she had, melted into nothingness as his lips came down on hers. He kissed her with such a passion that she wondered how it could even exist. His hands on her waist as he pulled her towards him, her own fingers finding their way to the soft curls on the back of his head. Her tongue pushed its way into his mouth, his lips pulling her away from normality as she started to cry again; only this time, tears of joy. Of resolution

His mouth found her neck as she clawed off his shirt, finding the soft, warm planes of his newly sculpted body. Her fingers traced down the tight lines of his abdominals as he sucked on her jaw, and in a fluid-like motion he scooped her up off of the couch and into his arms. She wasn't sure what she was doing. Neither of them were. But the wanton, and the lust, and their newly-redeemed love was in control of their every action.

A part of him wanted to stop. Make sure that this was what she truly wanted. But by the way she tugged him to keep going, by the way she kissed him as if it were the only thing she had left, he knew that she was absolutely positive about this.

And so he rolled with it.

They weren't sure what time it was, but neither of them cared. Lucy sighed in pure bliss an she and Ian lay snuggled in her bed, basking in the afterglow. Her head rested against his heart, fingers running gentle strokes over the contour lines of his stomach. He held her like that, own fingers circling around her ribs, lips in her hair, eyes fixated on her tired face. She adjusted the sheet around her somewhat self-conciously, the darkness of the bedroom not enough to quell the fear that her post-baby body wasn't good enough. She'd lost her baby weight by diet, not having time to exersize, and felt noticeably too skinny as opposed to being fit and toned like the last time he'd seen her. His t-shirt was a bit too big for her, and fit her like a night dress.

"Ayva's name," Lucy whispered, brushing her nose against his jaw as she looked up at his face.

"It's beautiful," he whispered tiredly.

Lucy giggled slightly. "No," she looked up and caught his eyes with her own,

"I know it's not what we agreed to call our first daughter,"

"Maria," he whispered, and then snapped out of his dream like tense. "Is that why you called her Ayva Maria?"

"I wasn't strong enough to call her just Maria. I couldn't look at her and be more reminded of you."

He smiled sadly, squeezing her. "But we're here together now, it doesn't matter." He promised. "And Ayva Maria is perfect,"

Lucy pressed a kiss to his chest. "I was worried it would sound too much like Ave Maria," Lucy giggled, and then added, "Maybe we'll get to name our next child together."

Ian nodded, hugging her body as hard as he could to hers. "I would love that."

He let his eyes flutter closed, telling her she was beautiful one last time before he fell asleep, unaware of the last time he'd been this happy.

Lucy remained awake for a little while, thinking about everything and nothing. Mainly about Ayva, and telling her the news. She debated doing it the next day, but decided that had to be a little more special than that, considering the circumstances. By the time 2 AM finally rolled around, she decided when she wanted to tell her. It was when it was special enough, and when it seemed like the right time for everyone.

She took one last look at Ian, snuggling down into his warm body. This wasn't exactly how it used to be; seeing as they were both substantially dressed and their baby was asleep in the other room, but it was so very, very perfect.

She wouldn't of had it any other way.

**There it is folks, chapter 8. I wonder how Lucy is going to tell Ayva ;) Thanks so much for your support for this story, it means everything to me that you're liking this!  
Thanks again to my wing-lady Kate, for being my listener and my consultant.  
PLEASE REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 9 : Eternity

_Chapter 9_

_Cross my heart and hope to die, I'll see you with your laughter lines._

When Ian opened his eyes the next morning, he reveled in the feeling of knowing that Lucy was right beside him.

Even though this wasn't the way he'd ever expected things to turn out, he couldn't remember ever being happier. His arm was wrapped securely around her waist, lips against the back of her head, breathing in the smell of her strawberry shampoo. He couldn't get close enough to her, and he was afraid that any moment she would pull away and he have to let her go again.

She was wearing his t-shirt and a pair of underwear that she had fished out of her drawer before they'd fallen asleep. Ayva sometimes had bad dreams in the middle of the night, and so it would've been bad news to have to explain why they were naked to a two-year-old. So, they'd dressed. He wore only a pair of boxers, and it reminded him of the morning Ayva had found it hysterical that her daddy was walking around in only his underwear. The sweet memory brought a smile to his lips.

Dozing fitfully, he shifted back and forth through sleep and awareness for another hour. Lucy, however, slept solidly, mumbling in her sleep ever so often. He had always found it adorable when she talked in her sleep.

Eventually, Ian smiled as the sound of light footsteps came hammering down the hallway. Ayva, wearing a set of lipstick-printed pyjamas and soft blue socks ran into the bedroom. Her hair was a mess, and one her pant legs was bunched up to her knee, but she was still the most beautiful and adorable little girl he had ever seen.

Ayva froze for a second at the sight of Ian, and he quickly let go of Lucy and sat up. The toddler climbed up onto the bed and immediately went to snuggle next to him, mumbling, "Hi, Inan," and starting to suck her thumb.

Ian greeted his child good morning, before setting her down in the middle of he and Lucy. The baby affectionately placed her dimpled hand on Lucy's head and patted, before nonchalantly climbing over her mother and kissing her cheek.

Lucy woke chuckling, nuzzling Ayva's nose and kissing her good morning. "Hi, baby."

Lucy turned around and caught Ian staring at her, immediately blushing. A wave of terror flooded her and Lucy feverishly glanced down to make sure she was fully clothed, considering the fact that Ayva had made her way out into their room. When she realized she was, she sat up and ruffled Ayva's hair.

"I hope you didn't climb out of your crib again," Lucy said, raising an eyebrow. Ayva pouted.

"I sowy momma,"

Ian stretched his arms over his head, watching his two girls blissfully. His body was slightly tired and slightly sore, but it was the last thing on his mind right now.

The trio laid snuggled in bed for a little while, Ian totally and completely in love with his little family. His perfect little daughter, and her beautiful mommy. Ian wasn't sure if it was okay to dub Lucy as his girlfriend yet, but he knew that like all things in this entire ordeal, the right time would come for it.

Ayva nearly jumped out of her skin as the loud chime of Ian's ringtone abruptly sounded through the bedroom. Ian jumped up to find his cell phone, and Ayva sat still for a moment, before erupting into a hysterical fit of laughter; all at her own reaction. Lucy laughed at Ayva, and Ian laughed at Lucy, and as he hit the talk button to his ringing cellphone, the caller was almost impossible to hear.

"Hello?" Ian said, trying to hear the response on the line. However, there was only a pause, followed by a short intake of breath on the other end. Ian looked at the caller I.D. "Mom?"

"Is that her?" His mother finally asked, and Ian felt himself tense up. "Is that your- daughter?"

Ian bit his lip, deciding it was time to take this out of the bedroom. He flashed Lucy a reassuring smile and hastily made his way out to the hallway washroom, closing the door behind him.

"Yeah, that's Ayva." He said gently. There were pictures of Ayva as a baby hung up all over the bathroom walls, and her prized rubber duck sat on the bathtub's ledge.

He heard his mother sigh. "She laughs just like you did, when you were little."

Ian smiled. "I want you to meet her, Mom."

"That's actually why I'm calling." Mrs. Harding replied. "Your father and I are coming to New York for this weekend."

Ian widened his eyes, not expecting that news. "Mom, you didn't let me know- I mean, I want to have you here, but I don't really have any room and I didn't have time to make any arrangements-" Ian rambled, running a hand through his hair. He hated being put on the spot like this.

"No no, don't be foolish." His mother cut off, and Ian released a silent breath. "Your father and I have a hotel booked. We're only staying a few days."

"Perfect," a grin spread over his cheeks. He was glad his mother was coming to meet her granddaughter, and Ian being the Momma's boy he was, was happy to get to see his mother too. "We can go out for dinner or something,"

They made a few plans over the phone before finally saying their goodbyes. Ian sat his phone down on the counter, taking a moment to glance at himself in the bathroom mirror. He smirked at the sight of a small purplish bruise-like mark between his shoulder and his collarbone. It reminded him that Lucy was waiting for him in her room.

He exited the washroom and turned down the hall, to find Lucy and Ayva standing in the doorway of her bedroom. The little girl was holding up an orange romper.

"Lucy," he asked softly, motioning for her to follow him into his bedroom.  
"Ayva, you can play for little while, just let Momma talk to Ian for a second."

Lucy followed Ian into her own bedroom, a slight trace of worry on her brow.

She had changed out of his shirt and into one of her own, and he quickly threw on his t -shirt.

He placed his hands at her sides, meeting her gaze. "My parents are coming in for the weekend." He said, "they want to meet her."

Lucy nodded, then asked, "How is that going to work?"

"What do you mean?"

"How is she going to address them? Grandma? Gram? I mean, she won't understand why they're her grandparents unless she knows that.." her words trailed slightly and that guilty look was plastered on her face again.

"One battle at a time," he whispered. "For now, she'll just call them Mary and Steve," his lips found hers for a moment, until they once again heard footsteps.

Pulling apart, Lucy flashed Ian a friendly smile before heading back to Ayva, scooping the squirmy toddler up into her arms.

Friday came soon enough, and Lucy found herself increasingly nervous with every second that approached the moment they'd meet his parents again.  
Ayva's normally well-behaved persona had for some reason vanished that day, and the little girl had been quite a handful. Lucy blamed it on Ian of course, who's pushover-daddy figure was spoiling her, but ian assumed it was because of Ayva's new habit of waking up in the night time. It was leaving her tired and uncooperative.

"Ayva, please just agree with me." Lucy pleaded with the two-year-old, holding up a dark-wash pair of baby jeggings. The purchase was something that Lucy had spent an hour choosing at the store, and of course, Ayva hated them.

"No," Ayva crossed her arms over her chest, pouting. She hugged the sparkly magenta tutu to her chest, refusing to compromise. "Dis one."

Lucy covered her eye with her hand, sighing loudly. "Ayva, you're wearing the jeans."

"No I not."

"I am the authority, and I am telling you to come here so I can put these jeans on you."

"No."

"Ian!" Lucy called, fed up.

Ian hurried in, amused at the toddler's fight. Ayva was still standing five feet away from Lucy, hugging the tutu and refusing to listen to her mother's instructions.

Lucy stood up and tossed the jeggings at Ian, storming past him. "Deal with your offspring."

Ten minutes later, while applying her lipstick, Lucy saw Ian enter the washroom through the mirror. He was holding Ayva, who was wearing the jeggings, a baby-peplum shirt, and a pair of blue socks. She was sucking away at her pacifier and had her head nuzzled into Ian's neck. Her hair was in the ponytail Lucy had pulled it into. She looked adorable.

Ian smirked smugly. "I win."

Lucy rolled her eyes. She went back to her eyeliner, but suddenly the tip snapped off and the stick slid across her under-eye.

"Shit!" Lucy swore, forgetting where she was. Ayva gasped, widening her blue eyes.

"Momma," the little girl chided, and Lucy turned red. "Dat's a bad word."

Ian knew she was nervous, so he sat Ayva down and told her to go play. Then, he walked over to Lucy.

"Hey," he held her slightly, watching her hands shake as she tried to wipe away the smudged eyeliner. "Why are you freaking out about this?"

She glared at him. "I think that I have reason to be nervous about meeting your parents after this. They're going to hate me."

"They aren't going to hate you. My mother loves you." Ian smoothed a thumb over her cheek, kissing her nose softly. "My father has had two conversations with you." He kissed her on the lips. "And they are floored about Ayva."

"But even after I did-"

Ian's eyes told her her to stop there. She sighed.

"I'm sorry." Lucy set the pencil down, forgetting about the eyeliner. "I feel like I'm sixteen again, wanting your parents to like me."

"They do like you."

Lucy bit her lip, before Ian ducked his head and kissed her lips again. She placed her hands on his chest, feeling the warmth of his body, his taut pectorals and the flutter of his heartbeat. They kissed for another few moments, before breaking apart again.

"I love you," he reminded her, but before she could return his words, Ayva ran into the washroom; dressed now in her magenta tutu. If she weren't so cute, Lucy probably could have made her change again.

The fancy New Groove Restauraunt was suddenly converted into a child-friendly one as Ian carried his tutu-wearing two-year-old towards the reserved table for Harding.

Again, there wasn't a chance of paparazzi finding him here with his family, even though the media had surely begun to flutter. Rumours and articles and social media had started the swirling of excitement, and Ian knew before long he would have to start giving the truth. Tonight, however, there was a chance for a simple family dinner.

One that included the Ayva bombshell.

A pair of middle-aged people sat at the glass table, heads back on from the approaching three. There was a festive red and green sparkly gift bag on the table, one that Ayva spotted almost instantly.

"Look Inan it's a pwesent!" she called out noisily, and the quiet restaurant all grew silent for a few moments. Suddenly, Mary Harding's head whipped around, and her blue eyes clouded with a set of tears.

Mrs. Harding stood, looking slightly stunned with joy as her son approached her, carrying his twenty-five pound new bundle of joy. Stephen also stood, gulping as he regarded his first grandchild for the first time.

Mrs. Harding wiped the slight tears from her eyes, taking a step closer to Ayva. The little girl smiled brightly, dimples folding in her cheeks.

"Mom and Dad, this is Ayva." Ian nonchalantly reached for Lucy's hand behind him, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "And Ayva," he kissed her nose, "this is my Momma and my Daddy."

Ayva smiled again. "I'm two!" She held up two little fingers, then began to squirm, pushing against Ian's shoulder to try and get down.

"Why don't you give Mary and Stephen a hug?" Ian asked Ayva, and she willingly leaned towards her new friend for a hug. Mrs. Harding accepted the child eagerly, hugging the precious baby girl tightly against her chest.

"It is so great to meet you, Ayva." She said, and then the little girl reached and gave Stephen a quick hug, before she lost interest and wiggled to get down.

"And you obviously know Lucy," Ian said, showing her off like he was the luckiest person on earth.

Mary stepped forward and hugged Lucy tightly, looking at her lovingly for a moment. Stephen offered a smile and a nod, and Lucy couldn't help but feel unwelcomed by him.

Ayva, by this time, had already climbed up onto her chair, kneeling and staring at the basket of bread and of course, the christmas gift. She didn't say anything though, instead she kept her questions to herself and looked at her mother.

"Momma, can I haff bwead?"

They all took their seats, engaging in small talk as Lucy cut and buttered a slice of bread for Ayva. Mrs. Harding was completely enthralled by the little girl, watching her with a gaze that was just truly in love. Mr. Harding was slightly more serious, though did appear to be excited to be meeting his granddaughter.

Lucy was nervous, her sentences running together and her voice slightly shaky when she spoke. Ian placed his hand on the top of her thigh beneath the table, reassuring her that everything was okay. She flashed him a small appreciative smile.

"Ayva, would you like to open this?" Mary said, picking up the glittery bag. Ayva's eyes widened, and she nodded vigouously.

The little girl climbed down from her seat and went to Mrs. Harding's side, slowly pulling the green tissue paper from the bag. She gasped and squealed in delight at the sight of the contents. She reached her little arms inside and fished out a creepily-realistic baby doll. It even came with a matching soother.

"Sank you!" Ayva exclaimed, holding up her new dolly for everyone at the table to see.

When dinner came around, the table had engaged in a light conversation, mainly basing on Ian's new movie, Lucy's new album, or Ayva in general. The little girl was occupied by her doll and the noodles that Lucy had ordered her, and as usual hadn't caused a moments trouble.

"So overall, how does it feel to be a father?" Mrs. Harding asked her son, balling up her used napkin and tossing it on her empty plate. She smiled affectionately at her son, then at her granddaughter, who looked adorable with pasta sauce all over her mouth.

Ian ruffled Ayva's ponytail, smiling down at her. She was completely oblivious to the conversation. "It's the most amazing thing in the world." And it was true. Ian had never enjoyed anything more than being Ayva's father- well, besides Lucy's boyfriend.

"And Lucy, I would imagine the extra help is nice."

Lucy chuckled. "He's great with her. More than I could have even asked for."

"I'm going to be there whenever you need me." He told both Lucy and Ayva. He squeezed her hand. "I guess you could say I've become a real family man."

Mrs. Harding nodded. "I always knew that you'd be the type of father who'd do anything for your children."

Lucy froze suddenly, Mrs. Harding's words striking her. Maybe she was being dramatic and jumping conclusions, but Ian had proved that he would do anything for Ayva. She couldn't help but wonder if that was why he was dating her again.

Lucy tried not to think of it. She focused on Ian's hand that was clasping her own, the hand that rested on her thigh just moments ago. He loved her. She knew he loved her.

But there was always that insecurity inside her, the one that still thought she wasn't worth coming back for. What if he left again? What if he only wanted her to earn custody?

She was lulled out of her worrisome thoughts by a light tugging at her sleeve. Ayva was kneeling on her chair, desperate for her mother's attention.

"Momma," she said urgently, "I haff to pee!"

Lucy scooped her up, telling the table they'd be back in five. Then, Ayva in her arms, she hurried off to the washroom.

"Ian," his mother said all of a sudden, once she was sure Lucy was out of earshot. "Are you seeing her again?"

Ian knit his eyebrows. "Um, yes. Why?"

Mrs. Harding sighed. "Ian, are you sure this is a relationship you're looking to get yourself into?"

Ian glared at her. "Mom, I think I'm a big enough boy to know what I'm doing."

"She kept your child a secret from you for two years. How do you trust her?"

"I walked out on her, Mom. And I didn't go back. How was she ever supposed to come find me, tell me that she was _pregnant_ after that? We're finally getting back to a place where we're happy. I'm not about to sit here and give you all the details, but please don't ruin this for me. I'm asking you to please accept this, especially you, Dad."

Mr. and Mrs. Harding looked slightly offended, however didn't argue. Ian suddenly felt very uncomfortable in the atmosphere, and realized that it was about time for them to go. He pulled his credit card from his back pocket, signalling for the waiter.

"Ian, you don't have to leave." His father said, sighing.

"No, it's late. Ayva normally goes to bed at eight and it's already 9:30." He leaned forward and kissed his mother on the cheek. "We'll get together again over the weekend."

Ian was very visibly agitated that his parents had actually made that comment. It had stung; he hated people barging into his life and commenting on his decisions, especially since this was something so dear to him. He saw Lucy and Ayva coming from the washroom, and signalled them over.

Everyone said their goodbyes, exchanging hugs and making plans to get together again over the weekend. Ian paid the cheque, and took Lucy's hand. Ayva had fallen asleep in her opposite arm. He gently kissed the toddler's head, befor the trio made their way to the car.

Ian gently laid Ayva into her car seat, trying to move her around the least amount possible so that she wouldn't wake up. By highway, it was still a half hours drive home, so letting her sleep seemed like a better option than having to drive all the way home with a cranky, over-tired toddler.

Lucy set Ayva's new dolly onto her lap and kissed her forehead, before the two adults climbed into Ian's Volvo themselves.

"That went well," Lucy remarked, resting her tired head against the head rest of the seat.

"They love her." Ian replied. "I knew they would love her.

Lucy didn't say anything as Ian turned up the heat. At first he thought she'd fallen asleep, but when he looked at her, she was staring out the window, lost in thought.

"What's wrong?"

"Tired," she mumbled.

"What's bothering you?" He gave her a stern look, reminding her that she couldn't hide her feelings around him. She sighed.

"Ian, are we setting ourselves up for disaster?" She turned to look at him square in the eye.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just feel like you felt obligated to start dating me again, only because you wanted to be a part of Ayva's life." She was biting her bottom lip, and even though she wasn't showing any forms of crying, she looked like she wanted to.

"Come on now, you know that's not true." He said tenderly, alternating his eyes on the road and her face. "You know that I love you." Had she overheard his parents? Ian suddenly felt very upset.

"But for me," she gulped. "Or for Ayva?"

He took her hand and gently brushed his fingers across her knuckles. "I love you and Ayva. I would give my life for you both, and you know that I love and want you more than anyone else. Where did this even come from, Lucy?"  
She felt the grip he had on her fingers tighten.

"I don't know. I just- I love you _a lot_, Ian." She caught a tear with her hand before it had a chance to roll down her face. "And I'm just scared you're going to leave again."

Ian exhaled a breath he forgot he'd been holding in.

"I'm not going _anywhere_, baby."

She nodded, slowly relaxing back into the seat.

"Promise?"

He smiled. "Pinky promise. And do you promise?"

She hooked her baby finger around his. "I promise."

They drove a little ways in silence, pinky fingers still hooked around each others. The warm car, their full stomachs and the comforting sound of the soft radio was enough to make them feel cosier than ever- that was until the hit a pothole.

Ayva bounced on the spot, the sudden jerk enough to wake her instantly from her sleep. She looked around and stuck out her lip, wailing loudly as she rubbed her eyes with her fist.

Lucy turned around and tried to comfort her daughter, grabbing her little foot and running her hand over Ayva's leg.

"It's okay, we'll be home soon." Lucy murmured, but it was nine forty-five in the night and Ayva was exhausted- nothing could calm her down at this rate.

"Binky!" Ayva sobbed, clutching her new doll for dear life. "I-" sob, "want- my Binky!"

Lucy rifled around in her purse and literally gasped in horror as she found _no_ _binky_ within its contents. They had left it on the table at the restaurant.  
Ayva kept crying, and Ian even piped in, trying to calm Ayva down. But nothing could possibly be right in her little world, so nothing even her beloved Inan did could soothe her tears.

Lucy placed a hand on her forehead, a raging headache beginning to form. She could hear nothing but Ayva crying, until the sound of soft guitar began to trickle through the car speakers.

Slowly but surely, Ayva stopped crying, listening to the soft, melodic music.

"Do you know who this is, Ayva?" Ian asked her, and Lucy widened her eyes as she realized the song Ian was playing was her own "Road Between."

The little girl listened to the beautiful voice in the music, sniffling. The fit had subsided.

"That's your momma," Ian smiled, watching Ayva slightly through the rearview mirror. The little girl finally smiled, looking proudly at her mother.

"Dat's you singing, Momma?"

Lucy was blushing, eyes glistening. "Yeah, Ayva Bean, that's momma."

_With a right heart, wrong decision_..

Even though Lucy was staring at Ian with the most affectionate gaze there was, Ian wouldn't look at her back. He wouldn't be able to control himself and resist kissing her.

She watched as her daughter's smile eventually fell again, and the little girl fell back to sleep. Lucy turned her attention back to Ian then, feeling the warmth and the butterflies she'd always got while looking at him. It was a feeling she wanted to live with forever.

_Pinky promise._

**SORRY that I took so long to update, school is a biatch and ugh life is not fair. However, this was nice and long, and nice and fluffy. There are only two chapters left unfortunately, but there will be plenty more stories to come.  
Thanks for the reviews, they mean so much and your kind words are amazing. Love you!  
By the way, you can also contact me on twitter, HaleStorms26 :) I don't bite.  
See you next update!**


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